words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Rachel: Good ones?
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Rachel: Yknow, Im still 29 in Guam.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Rachel: There you go!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
Rachel: Ahh!
Rachel: (opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Okay.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Rachel: Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Rachel: Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.
Rachel: Whatever! Okay, Im not your mother.
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Rachel: (to Tag) Hi.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, Im doing okay. Im um lets talk.
Rachel: Umm
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
Rachel: Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Chandler: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Rachel: Well, I'm very impressed.
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
Rachel: Well, well, well, look what mommy found!!
Rachel: What?
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
(Rachel wipes away some tears.)
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh! Emma, that's right! You're that many!
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Rachel: (angrily) NO, no science camp!
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is writing letters as Rachel enters.]
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Amy: You're not Rachel.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Rachel: So now, what are you doing here?
Rachel: God!
Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who?
Rachel: Oh wow! That deserves another piece of candy.
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Rachel: Oh, I know, isn't she?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: A-And??
Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy?
Rachel: No, what's he like?
Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
Rachel: Ok.
Rachel: Ok, let’s keep talking.
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
Rachel: Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: Amy, hi!
Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that!
Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes!
Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Rachel: Well, what happened?
Rachel: I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you!
Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge!
Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers?
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great!
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Rachel: Why not?
Rachel: (Shocked) Wha... the next one?
Rachel: Absolutely.
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
(Rachel looks very shocked)
Rachel: (sounds excited) Yeah!
(Rachel looks at Emma)
Rachel: Nothing.
(Rachel looks worried)
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: Nah, I don't really want her to see.
Rachel: Oh, they're real!
Rachel: Oh yeah? Since when?
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Rachel: (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
(Rachel and Amy enter)
Rachel: Excuse me?
Rachel: Hips or thighs?
Rachel: (doesn't believe what she's hearing) Seriously?
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)
Rachel: Did you just say Emma?
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Rachel: That's shocking!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: My God!
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Joey: Hey! Rachel: Congratulations! Wow!!
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Hey, that was an honest mistake!
Rachel: Mmh-mmh!
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
The Salesman: Ohh, okay. (Laughs.) Something didn't quite add up there. (Ross stops, walks back to talk to the salesman, and in the process pushes Rachel up against a wall.)
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?