words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Rachel: Good ones?
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Rachel: Yknow, Im still 29 in Guam.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Rachel: There you go!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
Rachel: Ahh!
Rachel: (opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Okay.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Rachel: Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Rachel: Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.
Rachel: Whatever! Okay, Im not your mother.
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Rachel: (to Tag) Hi.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, Im doing okay. Im um lets talk.
Rachel: Umm
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
Rachel: Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Uh, actually, I think I'm gonna be busy.
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?
RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more.
Rachel: And I-I am just trying to figure out why.
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Rachel: Oh no, I think Im gonna go home and eat ten candy bars.
Rachel: Oh please. (He does so.)
[Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.]
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Rachel: Im not here! Thats just my Chinese food!
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.
Rachel: I know I told you, its a really big problem.
Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.
Phoebe: Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore?
Rachel: You wanna go inside and have some coffee?
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Rachel: Ok...this could be a little awkward...I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance?
Rachel: I know, but all that work youre doing to get it ready, I just (goes into her bedroom.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Rachel: just... don't talk... (she kisses him)
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Rachel: You walked around all night in the city by yourself?
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Monica: Rachel?!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Rachel: (pause) Would you like some pancakes?
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Rachel: Ohh, well you got em.
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Rachel: Hello, Paul.
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Guess what?
Rachel: Thank you.
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Uh, credit card.
Rachel: Um... my... father.