words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Rachel: Good ones?
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Rachel: Yknow, Im still 29 in Guam.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Rachel: There you go!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
Rachel: Ahh!
Rachel: (opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Okay.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Rachel: Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Rachel: Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.
Rachel: Whatever! Okay, Im not your mother.
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Rachel: (to Tag) Hi.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, Im doing okay. Im um lets talk.
Rachel: Umm
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
Rachel: Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Rachel: Sure we should... So.
Rachel: Hey, you.... So, what's up?
Rachel: Mindy.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
Rachel: Oh sure it is!
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Rachel: What? What's what you were afraid of?
Rachel: Oh no, I cant. I got a date.
Rachel: Oh, I am so sorry.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
Rachel: Hey. Got a second?
Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Rachel: Oh God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Rachel: You don't know?!
Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (Yawning) Nooo...
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Rachel: What does she mean?
Rachel: Wow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out)
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Rachel: She could be you.
Rachel: That's good enough. Right? (Pause.) Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books!
Rachel: What? You just click when they click.
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
Rachel: Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Rachel: (picks up the phone and calls Ross) Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, youre not home.
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: (laughs) You know what?
Rachel: No, forget it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Rachel: There were times when it wasn't even me.
(Monica stares at Rachel)
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Rachel: Ethan called again.
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Rachel: Where are you going?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: True story.
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book!
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Rachel: Rossy, Rossy.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Rachel: Mommas Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois. (They exit with the cheesecake.)
Rachel: (entering) Im just going to grab the phone.
Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Rachel: Any chance you think the couch looks good there?
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Rachel: Oh, that's funny!
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Rachel: Oh, its gonna be fine.
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Rachel: Ok?
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Rachel: And your fly's still open...