words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Rachel: Good ones?
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Rachel: Yknow, Im still 29 in Guam.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Rachel: There you go!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
Rachel: Ahh!
Rachel: (opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Okay.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Rachel: Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Rachel: Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.
Rachel: Whatever! Okay, Im not your mother.
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Rachel: (to Tag) Hi.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, Im doing okay. Im um lets talk.
Rachel: Umm
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
Rachel: Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
Rachel: No-no, Im staying put.
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
Chandler: (entering, sees Rachels throw) Ni-hi-ice!
Rachel: No-no-no, no, honey please, Ive got, Ive just have so much to deal with.
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: (worried) Nothing?
Rachel: You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth.
Rachel: Okay then! (She starts rummaging through the trash to find Kim's lighter.)
Rachel: Her dancer friends?
Rachel: (looking at the bill) Uhh, we still need a tip.
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Well and clearly not a minute sooner.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
[Ross and Rachel are in Rachel's bedroom]
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
(Monica goes into Rachels room.)
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.
[Rachel leaves]
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: No!
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
[Rachel enters]
[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, I told him I would think about it, but Im gonna tell him no.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Rachel: (seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Rachel: Now that youre on youre own, youre free to look as stupid as you like.
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
Rachel: Okay...
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]
Rachel: It sure is.
Rachel: Well?
Rachel: Really? How good?
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
Rachel: Beef.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Rachel: Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever!
PHOEBE: All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.)� Hello?� Hi.� I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
Rachel: Uh, Mon, you-you gonna leave your shoes out here?
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Rachel: Im talking about a bet, winner takes all.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
Rachel: Thats right!
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Rachel: Yeah.
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Rachel: Ha!
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
Nancy: Rachel we tried to quit, but it was too hard!
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh, this ones for me!
Rachel: �Mira, mira, el viejo desnudo est� haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
Rachel: Yeah. Dont do this to yourself.
Steve: Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.
Rachel: I know.
Rachel: (entering) Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure?
Matthew Ashford: It was nice to meet you Rachel.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Guess!
Rachel: Ohh, yes.
Rachel: Almost.
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!