words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Rachel: Good ones?
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Rachel: Yknow, Im still 29 in Guam.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Rachel: There you go!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
Rachel: Ahh!
Rachel: (opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Okay.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Rachel: Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Rachel: Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.
Rachel: Whatever! Okay, Im not your mother.
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Rachel: (to Tag) Hi.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, Im doing okay. Im um lets talk.
Rachel: Umm
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
Rachel: Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Rachel: A cyborg?! Isn't that like a robot?!
Rachel: Aw.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Rachel: What?!
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Rachel: Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: No Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it it has to work out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: (laughs) Well okayWell dont ruin it! Just play along at least!
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Rachel: You bought boobs?
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Rachel: Well what happened at dinner?
Monica: Rachel! Rachel! You havent touched Eldads hair!
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
Rachel: (yelling) So youre gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and thats where everybodys gonna be!
Rachel: Ohh! (Whispers.) Really?!
Ross: I dont know Rachel, why?
Rachel: Well what?! How-how much is it?!
Rachel and Monica: Ah, yeah!
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Rachel: Nothing!
Rachel: (quietly) Joey.
Rachel: He's not having an affair!
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.
Rachel: I dont know. I know I dont work late tomorrow night.
Rachel: Oh, youre welcome a million.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Ross and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Yeah, what?
Rachel: Yes!
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Rachel: What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.
Rachel: Yknow Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Rachel: Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that!
Rachel: Wrong! How do you get the mainsail up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is entering and arguing baseball with Erin. Phoebe and Rachel are already there.]
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Rachel: Times up, now your dead.
Rachel: Oh theyre pushing! Theyre pushing!!
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Why not?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Rachel: What? I was just trying to teach you.
Rachel: AndJoey!
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Rachel: Right?
Rachel: What do you mean you quit?! You cant quit!
Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this! (She does it instead.)
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: No! You gotta hold my hand!!
Rachel: Left.
Rachel: Awww
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Rachel: Ohh, sorry.
Rachel: Do you guys know any cute guys?
Rachel: Well that was umm Okay.
Rachel: Thats nice.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Rachel: Joey!
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Rachel: Its the same story.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: (mouthing it to him) Yes, you did.
Sebastian: Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.
Rachel: Ohh, you should know, this place is a real babe magnet. Wanna make out?
Rachel: What? Did her ass explode?!
Rachel: Uh-huh, go on.
Rachel: Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean yknow, emotionally, mentally, physically
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
RACHEL: Honey, I'm just checking.
Rachel: (seeing whos trapped) Hey
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]