words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh
Rachel: Yeah, its just yknow
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Rachel: (crying) Itll be a short one.
Rachel: Ohhh
Rachel: Wait, what do you mean youre getting a new brain?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Rachel: Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.
Rachel: All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.
Rachel: Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didnt think Id love again.
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Rachel: Well umm, maybe we could uhh (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: I dont think so.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: How are ya?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: Phoebe!
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Rachel: You just said it!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Rachel: Ohh! (Exits.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Rachel: Hey! Hey!
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: Well why shouldnt I?!
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Rachel: Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)
Rachel: Well be right back sir.
Rachel: I dont know!
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Rachel: Ohh
(She laughs as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi.
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Rachel: God. You seem really, really nice.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Rachel: No!
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
Rachel: Really Joey?
Rachel: Yeah.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Rachel: Oh, he's just goofing around.
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Great!
Rachel: Oh please, you inhale your food!
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Rachel: Yeah...(sigh)....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante.
[Scene: Fortunata Fashions, Rachels new job.]
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are entering.]
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: (now standing behind Ross) Ross!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: We use it!!
Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.
Rachel: Oh yeah, sure, that too.
Rachel: So Pheebs, pick one of them.
Rachel: I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-
Isabella: Arent you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
Rachel: Oh yeah, I got a cat.
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Joey: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?
Rachel: (throws her stuff down) I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Dina and Rachel are reading pregnancy books, Dina Pregnancy for Dummies and Rachel something else.]
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Rachel: Hi!!
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
RACHEL: Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress.
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: Oh, okay.
Rachel: Wow! Umm....
Rachel: He got all weird and sputtery and then he said uh, "Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch."
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
Rachel: I know.
RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Good.
Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?
Rachel: Well, that shouldnt be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.
Rachel: You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt!
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
Rachel: Huh?
Rachel: Small...
RACHEL: You want me to see a therapist?
Rachel: Petty...
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Rachel: Well, I-I-I don't know how this fits into your whole "seizing" thing but um, Emily called you today.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Rachel: Y'know what?
Rachel: I cant do this.
Rachel: You sure?
Rachel: It depends on who asked.
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Rachel: Oh, Mon, sure.
Rachel: Yes. (Pause) Youre not asking are you?
Rachel: Yes! Totally!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Rachel: Hey, Sophie!
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?