words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh
Rachel: Yeah, its just yknow
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Rachel: (crying) Itll be a short one.
Rachel: Ohhh
Rachel: Wait, what do you mean youre getting a new brain?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Rachel: Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.
Rachel: All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.
Rachel: Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didnt think Id love again.
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Rachel: Well umm, maybe we could uhh (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: I dont think so.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: How are ya?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: Phoebe!
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Rachel: You just said it!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Rachel: Ohh! (Exits.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Rachel: Hey! Hey!
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: Well why shouldnt I?!
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Rachel: Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)
Rachel: Well be right back sir.
Rachel: I dont know!
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Rachel: Ohh
(She laughs as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi.
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Rachel: God. You seem really, really nice.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Rachel: No!
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Rachel: What?! You-you actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment?
Joey: (contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!!
Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.
Rachel: Oh-okay, but Pheebs?
Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Rachel: Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Rachel: What?! You kissed!
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Rachel: What?!
(Rachel discreetly coughs to warn her.)
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Rachel: It was only 500 bucks.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
(He closes the door before Rachel can say anything.)
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Merrill Lynch?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Rachel: (gasps) Rob Tillman!
Rachel: Ohh! Okay!
Rachel: Wow! How are you?!
Rachel: Ohh! Me too!
Rachel: (laughs) Oh yeah? Okay.
Rachel: Ohh, I would love too.
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Rachel: (she's finished reliving the fridge of its entire alcohol content.) Macadamia nut?
(She hangs up as Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Mon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Rachel: Oh yeah.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Rachel: Hes coming over! Hes coming over!
Rachel: Ah!
Joey: (shaking Rachels hand) Hi!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else?
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
Rachel: You just dont look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter.
Rachel: She asked-asked you out again?
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Rachel: Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!
Rachel: Im going for a walk.
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Rachel: Ohh, of course Monicas brother!
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Rachel: Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.
Rachel: Umm, can I use your bathroom?
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Rachel: Hi! Wh-what are you doing here?
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
Rachel: Oh what do you know? Virgin!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Wow! Tell me something Joey(She falls off the couch)Whoa! I just fell right off the couch there.
Rachel: Yeah?
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: Wow! I cant, I cant feel my hands.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: She-she died Jill.
Rachel: (wakes up suddenly and realizes where she is) Oh right.
Rachel: (seeing the ring and gasping) Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?!
Rachel: (groans) Oh God. Oh I cant believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: No! No-no-no
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Rachel: You know what we should all do? Go see a musical.
Rachel: Ohh! My God! Barry!!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Rachel: Hi Ross!
Ross: Hey Rachel.