words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh
Rachel: Yeah, its just yknow
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Rachel: (crying) Itll be a short one.
Rachel: Ohhh
Rachel: Wait, what do you mean youre getting a new brain?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Rachel: Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.
Rachel: All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.
Rachel: Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didnt think Id love again.
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Rachel: Well umm, maybe we could uhh (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: I dont think so.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: How are ya?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: Phoebe!
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Rachel: You just said it!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Rachel: Ohh! (Exits.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Rachel: Hey! Hey!
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: Well why shouldnt I?!
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Rachel: Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)
Rachel: Well be right back sir.
Rachel: I dont know!
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Rachel: Ohh
(She laughs as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi.
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Rachel: God. You seem really, really nice.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Rachel: No!
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
RACHEL: Ok, we never shoulda talked about this.
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.
RACHEL: Not at all inappropriate!
RACHEL: Really?
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
RACHEL: Well?
RACHEL: I guess.
Rachel: Oh my God! How long has she been crying?
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
RACHEL: Thank you.
RACHEL: I didn't know that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
Rachel: Ugh, Monica I dont want to steal your stupid thunder!
Rachel: All right let me see. (grabs the card) Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel?
RACHEL: Hey, nice toilet.
RACHEL: Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours?
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
RACHEL: What's goin' on?
Rachel: Well, dont look at me! My hairs straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!
RACHEL: [sarcastically] I've never wanted you more.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
TERRY: Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute?
RACHEL: Fine, I will.
[Phoebe walks up to Rachel, cleaning tables.]
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
RACHEL: Well I love you too.
Rachel: Just get out! Now!!
Rachel: Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? (Laughs) Good luck, Rach.
RACHEL: Yes it is.
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Rachel: What, what, wait a minute! You haven�t even told her you were a doctor, yet? How long have you known her, likean hour?
RACHEL: Well you better.
Rachel: Yknow what? No. Its not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Rachel: I will not! Im the divisional head of mens sportswear!
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey's home alone, reading a Sports Illustrated magazine when Chandler enters.]
RACHEL: Oh my God.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.
RACHEL: Would you guys stop.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
PHOEBE: Rachel.
Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater.
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
RACHEL: So what happens next?
Rachel: I still dont get how you know when its false labour.
RACHEL: Great set tonight Phoebs.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could baby-sit again.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Chandler: Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
Rachel: Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I dont like guys with boring jobs.
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
RACHEL: Pie in the hood, pie in the hood. Go.
Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most.
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
RACHEL: Well, there's you.
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
Rachel: Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.
RACHEL: Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Rachel: Maybe. I-I don't knowOh God, how could I be so stupid?!
RACHEL: Oh my God, honey that's great.
RACHEL: Oh, hi.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
RACHEL: Rock-paper-scissors?
Rachel: Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
RACHEL: Honey.
ROSS: What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
RACHEL: Oh good.
Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.
RACHEL: So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
RACHEL: Joey.
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.