words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh
Rachel: Yeah, its just yknow
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Rachel: (crying) Itll be a short one.
Rachel: Ohhh
Rachel: Wait, what do you mean youre getting a new brain?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Rachel: Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.
Rachel: All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.
Rachel: Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didnt think Id love again.
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Rachel: Well umm, maybe we could uhh (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: I dont think so.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: How are ya?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: Phoebe!
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Rachel: You just said it!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Rachel: Ohh! (Exits.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Rachel: Hey! Hey!
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: Well why shouldnt I?!
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Rachel: Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)
Rachel: Well be right back sir.
Rachel: I dont know!
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Rachel: Ohh
(She laughs as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi.
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Rachel: God. You seem really, really nice.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Rachel: No!
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Rachel: Unbelievable.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Rachel: Very nice touch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is approaching a customer.]
Rachel: Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! (Monica starts chasing Rachel around the table.)
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, gotta go! Wish me luck!
[Scene: Rachels office, shes looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.]
Rachel: Men are unbelievable.
Rachel: Yeah, you do.
Rachel: Oh.
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
RACHEL: No sorry hon, Monica's orders.
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Rachel: Oh, Ross, Im sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Monica is holding the wrapping paper from one of Rachel's gifts.]
Rachel: Well umm, that one is pretty but uh, I just, I just love this fabric (On the other one.) Sorry.
Rachel: Yeah, it is.
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Rachel: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.
Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.
Rachel: Honey, this will help. (hands him a tub of ice cream)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Rachel: Well relax, hell be here.
Rachel: Amazingly, that makes sense.
Rachel: Any sign of your brother?
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
Phoebe: And this is Rachel.
Rachel: Hardy Boy.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Rachel: Oh, its a Macys bag!
Rachel: I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now?
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
RACHEL: Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute.
Rachel: Three of your five, what?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Rachel: So?
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the party continues with Rachel leaning on the counter as Gunther walks in carrying candy.]
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Rachel: Oh no, no, Ill be there too.
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
<they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying>
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Come on!
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
Rachel: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Bye-bye.
Rachel: Off to see young Ethan?
Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Monica and Rachel: What?!!
Rachel: Excuse me, there was no time!
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
Rachel: Then how come it is?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: Uh well, y'know what? I don't think if I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.
Rachel: All right. Well, if I gonna do this, I'd better keep going.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, Ill dump you too!
Rachel: Yeah, I know.
Friend No. 1: Rachel stop!
Rachel: Yeah, so?
Rachel: Oh-oh, you lie.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Oh, but thats okay.
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Rachel: Bye!
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)