words in movies
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)
Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
Rachel: You.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.
Rachel: Why, how much is this gonna cost?
Rachel: Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do?
Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours.
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Rachel: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!
Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you. I love you.
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.
Monica (as Rachel): Hi.
Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.
(Monica and Rachel smile back prettily.)
Rachel: Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?
Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.
Monica (as Rachel): Thank you.
Rachel (as Monica): Right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Rachel: ..so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.
Rachel: Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes."
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Rachel: Was that the cake?
Rachel: I hope it's okay.
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, coming!
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Oh, that's great. Look at that.
(Rachel discreetly coughs to warn her.)
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
Rachel (as Monica): You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... (They don't know what to do with their coats and Monica points to the living room) STAT!
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Rachel: Hello! Here we go!
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Rachel: (as Monica) Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Suddenly laughing) Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: (as Rachel) I used to wet my bed.
Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
Rachel: Would you excuse me for a second?
Monica: (as Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? (Talking fast before Rachel can catch her) Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
Rachel and Monica: Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do?
Rachel: Okay (desperately hands the receiver over) no, you do it.
Monica: (taking the phone) Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... (Smiles at Rachel to reassure her) Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.(Listens) Thank you. (Hangs up)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ohhh... (slumping in relief) Okay, you were right. You were right! This was just not worth it.
Rachel: Okay, let me just change.
(Rachel goes to her room.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh.
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Rachel: What?
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(Rachel points out of the window.)
Rachel: �Mira, mira, el viejo desnudo est� haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Rachel: Is that it?
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
Rachel: Oh, well, (looks at her box and chair) you're not catching me on my best day.
Rachel: Oh! See just Im right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks! (She sits down heavily in one of the new chairs)
Rachel: Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, I�m never leaving her again.
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
[Monica grabs Rachel by the sweater. Rachel squirms out of it]
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, moving on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30.
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Ross: RACHEL!
Rachel: OOH! God! Sorry!
Rachel: Emma's awake.
Rachel: Hey, you know, before you said that nothing could happen between us? What changed?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Chandler: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Rachel: Well, I'm very impressed.
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
Rachel: Well, well, well, look what mommy found!!
Rachel: What?
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
(Rachel wipes away some tears.)
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh! Emma, that's right! You're that many!
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Rachel: (angrily) NO, no science camp!
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is writing letters as Rachel enters.]
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Amy: You're not Rachel.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Rachel: So now, what are you doing here?
Rachel: God!
Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who?
Rachel: Oh wow! That deserves another piece of candy.
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Rachel: Oh, I know, isn't she?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: A-And??
Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy?
Rachel: No, what's he like?
Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
Rachel: Ok.
Rachel: Ok, let’s keep talking.
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
Rachel: Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: Amy, hi!
Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that!
Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes!
Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Rachel: Well, what happened?
Rachel: I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you!
Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge!
Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers?
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great!
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Rachel: Why not?
Rachel: (Shocked) Wha... the next one?
Rachel: Absolutely.
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
(Rachel looks very shocked)
Rachel: (sounds excited) Yeah!
(Rachel looks at Emma)
Rachel: Nothing.
(Rachel looks worried)
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: Nah, I don't really want her to see.
Rachel: Oh, they're real!
Rachel: Oh yeah? Since when?
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Rachel: (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
(Rachel and Amy enter)
Rachel: Excuse me?
Rachel: Hips or thighs?
Rachel: (doesn't believe what she's hearing) Seriously?
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?