words in movies
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Hey, Sophie!
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Rachel: Summer catalogue! (hands him the catalogue)
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Rachel: Bye, Chandler.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Rachel: Well, Ill ask him for you, if you want me too?
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: I need to talk to you!
Rachel: Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler.
Rachel: Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Rachel: Wow!!
Rachel: Whats this?
Rachel: All right!
Ross and Rachel: Uh-huh.
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Rachel: Hmm.
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Oh, I....
Rachel: Oh, I know...
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Rachel: You cant just say, Nice to meet you, good night?
Rachel: Well, they always called.
[Scene: Rachels office.]
Rachel: No. Sorry.
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
Rachel: Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss.
Rachel: Well...
Rachel: No. I...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: (grabbing the magazine out of his hands) Call her! Call her now!
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Rachel: Well then youre going to have to take her out again.
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Rachel: Thats fine!
Rachel: I know.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Rachel: Sophies desk.
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Rachel: Chandler!!
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Ross: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
RACHEL: Now I love you even more.
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Youre all gonna be aunts and uncles.
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: (laughs) Wow! Umm, yknow, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldnt.
Rachel: Me?!
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Frank are there.]
Rachel: Hi!
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Big Nosed Rachel: I know!
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Yeah, fair enough.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Rachel: Oh, how does he look? How does he look?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Rachel and Monica: Nooo!
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.
Rachel: Yeah, umm, no honey.
Rachel: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Monica: Rachel always cries!
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Joey, did you my face cream?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Joey: Well he made Rachel cry!
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Rachel: No, it wasn't. It was actually the
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
Rachel: Like what?
Rachel: Oh God. Im sorry about this.
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-
Rachel: (entering) Hi, guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah! I know.
Rachel: (interrupting) Oh my God! My dog died!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
[Rachel and Phoebe enter]
Rachel: It's Le Poo.
Rachel: What's going on?
RACHEL: I had a wedding.
Rachel: What?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Rachel: Do you still have that, um, Navy uniform?
Rachel: Sorry. Sorry.
CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Okay, what's up?
Rachel: Yeah?
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause) (Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Rachel: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
Rachel: Oh hi!
Rachel: Storming out!
Rachel: Yeah, well that's how mad I am!!
Rachel: Oh I know, my God, this is sothis rice is soI am so good.
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: That's not Ross!