words in movies
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Hey, Sophie!
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Rachel: Summer catalogue! (hands him the catalogue)
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Rachel: Bye, Chandler.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Rachel: Well, Ill ask him for you, if you want me too?
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: I need to talk to you!
Rachel: Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler.
Rachel: Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Rachel: Wow!!
Rachel: Whats this?
Rachel: All right!
Ross and Rachel: Uh-huh.
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Rachel: Hmm.
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Oh, I....
Rachel: Oh, I know...
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Rachel: You cant just say, Nice to meet you, good night?
Rachel: Well, they always called.
[Scene: Rachels office.]
Rachel: No. Sorry.
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
Rachel: Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss.
Rachel: Well...
Rachel: No. I...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: (grabbing the magazine out of his hands) Call her! Call her now!
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Rachel: Well then youre going to have to take her out again.
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Rachel: Thats fine!
Rachel: I know.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Rachel: Sophies desk.
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Rachel: Chandler!!
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
Rachel: (with a mouthful) Mm-mmm. (Nods no.)
Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.
Rachel: Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.
(Ross makes an "I was right, and you werent face." And Rachel does Rosss little Im-flicking-you-off-but-Im-not-giving-you-the-finger banging of the fists.)
Rachel: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Rachel: Really? Who would, who would you marry?
Rachel: (proudly) He doesn't speak much English.
Rachel: Oh, it dispenses clean diapers!
Rachel: Yknow, Im still 29 in Guam.
Rachel: Oh my God! I was so afraid I wasn't gonna remember any of my high-school French, but I understood every word you just said!
[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]
RACHEL: Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter.
Rachel: (Yawning) Oh, it's so late for 'Shall we'...
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Rachel: Yeah, were, were actually just gonna walk cause its right up there at the Angelica.
Rachel: You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....
Phoebe: Yeah thats Rachel. (To herself) Beat me over the head with it.
Rachel: Ill take all of your photos and put them into photo albums!
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
Rachel: Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift."
Rachel: (looks touched) Joey, you never..you never talked about that before...
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
RACHEL: No.� No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go.� "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."
Rachel: Congratulatioooons!
Rachel: Oh. (Squeaks again.)
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Rachel: (excited and clapping her hands in front of her face) Goody, what is it!
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
RACHEL: Ross, you have to understand that your nice thing makes us feel this big.
Rachel: Ugh. (takes the hat and covers Emma's head and half her face with it)
Rachel: So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
(Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.)
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Rachel: (panicking) No you dont.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What�s wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation theyAlways ask, �what, you live together but you�re not a couple? And you have a baby, isn�t that weird?� And I say �No.You know what, it�s not, because it works for us!� But you know this doesn�t work. In fact this is the opposite of working!
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
[Scene: The Hotel, Rachel is walking through the ballroom area and comes upon the sign for the Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding.]
Rachel: Yeah thats right you werent thinking! Yknow what? Let me give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.)
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the babys heartbeat.]
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Rachel: Im great! Im great. Ive got a great job at Bloomingdales, have wonderful friends, and eventhough Im not seeing anyone right now, Ive never felt better about myself.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
RACHEL: Ok, everybody, let's give a uh nice warm Central Perk welcome to--
PHOEBE: But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
(Monica frantically bursts into action as Rachel resumes winding, tangling Chandlers wool.)
Rachel: Oh! Ow! (Joey motions, "You see what I mean?!")
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
Rachel: Did you at least win the contest?
Rachel: No, no, no... No, I mean... se-x-u-ally...
Rachel: And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?!
(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)
Rachel: Huh... OH MY GOD IT'S BRUSSELS SPROUTS. (they all look appalled)
Rachel: Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?
Ross: (to Rachel) Im really glad we came. (Rachel smiles and rubs his arm) Youre so pretty. I love you.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is examining the injury to Rosita while Rachel is apologizing to him.]
RACHEL: Oh God. Ross, OK, if you care about me at all, you will get the pie out of the man's hood.
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks in the mirror and sees that she still has her mustache and groans.)
Rachel: (Swears in Italian, its the same term used by Joey earlier and Joey nods his approval.)
Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)
Rachel: (looking at the bulletin board with baby pictures) So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest?
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: Good-good, dont tell him. Dont tell him. Just have him call me okay?
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: No! No-no, no-no-no, very quiet, said with love, no yelling.
RACHEL: Or ya know, he's rubber and you're glue.
Rachel: Really?! How come we didnt cross paths?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)
Rachel: I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop.
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Rachel: It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!
Rachel: All right. Lets say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
[Scene: Rachel is at Monica's, talking about Chandler & him watching "Shark Porn".]
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
Rachel: And remember how you always said you were afraid the landlord would find out and then tear it down?
Ross and Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
Rachel: Ohh, and the nicest girlfriend! (She retaliates.)
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, Im sorry, but I dont think that was a romantic thing.
Rachel: Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.
Rachel: Ross, get over it! Its not like she hates you.