words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Rachel: I dont know.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Mrs. Green: Oh Rachel!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Wh-wh-what? What?
Rachel: Yes. Yes I do.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Rachel: Mom thats okay that you didnt get you a gift!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Rachel: Oh, it dispenses clean diapers!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Rachel: What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?!
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Rachel: Okay mommy, dont ever leave me. (Hugs her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Rachel: Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going?
Rachel: Okay.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: Hello?! I still dont know what the hell Im doing!
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Rachel: (closing a book) Okay! Im ready.
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
Rachel: Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
Rachel: Check if its wet, check if its hungry, burp it!
Rachel: A card! A card! I pick a card!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
RACHEL: Why on earth would I understand this?
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
[Scene: the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Rachel: What is that noise?
Rachel: I know.
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Rachel: Ow!!
Rachel: What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass?
Rachel: Yeah, come here!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
RACHEL: Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Rachel: Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?
Rachel: (looking thoughtful) Ok, that's true. That's true, we can do this. You're right, you're right, we can do this. We're just gonna power through!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
Rachel: What are you gonna do Pheebs?
[Ross enters behind Rachel, and look at each other for a moment.]
Rachel: Monica's making jam.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]
RACHEL: Pretty much.
Rachel: I got to figure out what Im going to wear.
Rachel: Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27.
Rachel: Im fine, Im fine.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Rachel: Yes I am!
Rachel: What?
Ross: Rachel...
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: (She drops the brush) Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Right.
Rachel: Oh-ho!
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
[Monica pulls a thread on Rachel's sweater and Rachel dumps the tomato sauce in Monica's purse]
Joey: (To Rachel) Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner.
Rachel: Sure.
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Rachel: Ross! Stop that!
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel: I really do.
Rachel: Rosss...
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel: Ow! Ow!
Rachel: Okay.
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Yeah, Im fine.
Rachel: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: What thing? What thing?
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Rachel: Ross, why didnt you tell me that?
Rachel: Why would you even want to come Ross? Youre a horrible skier.
Rachel: Well, because of us! Because of our history.
Rachel: Um-hmm, yeah.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im gonna have to find another minister.
Rachel: Sophies desk.
Rachel: Whats Flimbys?
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
RACHEL: Hey Phoebs. Oh hey, how's the dog?
Rachel: I dont have any issues with my Father.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Rachel: Oh, hi!
[cut to Joey, Rachel, and Tommy.]
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Rachel: Hey. Gosh, you look soo familiar.
Rachel: But I thought that ring stood for Caprices undying love for her brother.
Rachel: Were not actors.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Rachel (she flips the coin): Ha, tails!
Rachel: Hey!
RACHEL: We love you, we're here for you.
Monica: Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone)
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Rachel: You dont?!
Rachel: What time is it?
Rachel: Tommys supposed to be here soon, were going to lunch.
Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
Rachel: Yeah
Rachel: I'm just cleaning up.