words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Rachel: I dont know.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Mrs. Green: Oh Rachel!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Wh-wh-what? What?
Rachel: Yes. Yes I do.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Rachel: Mom thats okay that you didnt get you a gift!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Rachel: Oh, it dispenses clean diapers!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Rachel: What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?!
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Rachel: Okay mommy, dont ever leave me. (Hugs her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Rachel: Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going?
Rachel: Okay.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: Hello?! I still dont know what the hell Im doing!
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Rachel: (closing a book) Okay! Im ready.
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
Rachel: Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
Rachel: Check if its wet, check if its hungry, burp it!
Rachel: A card! A card! I pick a card!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Rachel: (pretends to be shocked) Uh! The police!
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who Im taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.)
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?
Rachel: Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
Rachel: Y’know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean!
Rachel: "Im Monica, I dont get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!"
Rachel: It... You can so totally tell.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Bitchin'
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
Rachel: (finishing the last of her drink) I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow.
Rachel: I am sooo drunk.
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? Im Dr. Schiff. (By the way, hes an attractive man.)
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Really?
Rachel: So maybe something in an office.
Rachel: Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend?
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Ross: Hey, where's Rachel?
Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Phoebe: Like a date type (looks at Rachel) person?
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Rachel: Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya?
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cooking as Rachel paces nervously.]
Rachel: Yes! On a cake shaped like a bunny.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Rachel: Hey Pheebs...
Rachel: Uh... November?
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
Rachel: Hey, Mr Philips, nice suit!
Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.
Rachel: All right. (She does so and it brings the cooler closer together.) Hey-hey-hey!! (Sees whats in the cooler.) Sandwiches!
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Rachel: Hi! Happy Thanksgiving!
Rachel: Howhow did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! (She hits Chandler again.)
[Scene: Another restaurant. Rachel is studying the menu together with her date, Steve. Steve is the stoned restaurateur from 115 TOW the Stoned Guy.]
Ross: Yeah... I guess. I don'tI don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? (gives Chandler a gift for Rachel)
Chase Lassiter: (talking to Rachel) You look familiar, have we...
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Rachel: Thats it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!
Rachel: What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that.
Rachel: Happy wedding day!
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Rachel: Okay. Oh GodOw!Oo!
Rachel: What d'you want?
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
Rachel: Oh sorry didnt mean to interrupt. Its just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?
RACHEL: Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?
Rachel: Hi
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Rachel: All right fine, I pick you.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
[Time lapse, Rachel pushes the flight attendant call button, takes Ross's drink, and spills it into his lap.]
Rachel: I dont know! (Pause) Im-Im kinda thinking it-it was the lobster
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Rachel: Who's there?
Rachel: Uh.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
(all eyes turn to Rachel)
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?
Rachel: Since when do you watch the news?
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Rachel: Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey!
Rachel: (laughing) Yeah, and-and you better make sure he tips you this time.
Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Rachel: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Rachel: Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom...
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: How was the honeymoon?
Rachel: Oh... you're so sexy!
Rachel: I did not know you spoke French.
Ross: You guys know where Rachel is?
Rachel: Seriously stop it, or I'm gonna jump on ya.
Rachel: Ross...
Rachel: Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.