words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)
Rachel: Give her some money.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Yknow what? Id have to say I really dont care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem toWhoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa!
Rachel: Ow! Ow! Contraction. (Sits back down.) Ow-ow! Ow-ow! (Starts breathing heavily.)
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh, okay.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Rachel: Hi!
Marc: Oh hi Rachel.
Rachel: How are you?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Rachel: Oh.
Marc: Hey! Smile! (Points his camera at Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Rachel: Here comes another contraction.
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Rachel: Oh, thats veryReally very-very okay.
Julie: Have you felt Rachels cervix Ross?
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) Were not gonna do that.
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Rachel: Oh. Oh wait no.
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here!
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: New people.
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
Rachel: Ooh! Ow!!
Ross: No-no, Im Im sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.)
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Rachel: Ross.
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Rachel: Yeah it was.
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Rachel: Oh stupid metric system!
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Rachel: Oh come on!!
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in.
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: I get it!
Rachel: Oh we-we didnt.
Rachel: Just tell me how.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Rachel: Oh hi.
Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when youre trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: My God. Okay. (Another woman enters.) Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker!
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is finally giving birth.]
Rachel: 3-2-1 oh!!
Rachel: I cant. I cant push anymore, I cant.
Rachel: Oh God twenty seconds my ass!!
Rachel: Dont say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?
Rachel: Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
Rachel: Im sorry, I cant!
Rachel: I cant!
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
Rachel: Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh God!
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Rachel: No, not yet.
Rachel: Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Rachel: Hello baby girl.
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Rachel: What?
(Rachel starts crying again.)
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Rachel: I was reliving it.
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Ross: Wow! Umm, okay uh everyone this is Isabella. (Rachel starts crying.) What?
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Rachel: Oh great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.
Rachel: Well what are we going to do?
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Rachel: Oh, just tell us! Were not gonna want it!
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh honey, but you love that name.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.]
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Yknow what I was, I was thinking about?
Rachel: Umm that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh?
Rachel: (pause) Right.
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Nothing.
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Rachel: I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Joey.
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Rachel: Oh well, y'know, the gala had to end sometime.
Rachel: Hey! You guys umm, I want you to meet Sebastian.
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Rachel: Well if you go to Disneyland, you dont spend the whole day on the Materhorn.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Ross: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Rachel: Well, what about Mindy?
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
Rachel: Well, isnt that a good thing? You said you were sick of this.
Rachel: I dont wanna hear "Three failed marriages!"
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
Rachel: Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around.
Chandler: Rachel... with handcuffs! Interesting! (he looks excited)
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Rachel: I lent them to Ross.
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
(We see through the big window from the outside and see that Monica and Rachel have pictures of their faces pasted onto cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth wearing their Baywatch swimsuits.)
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
(Ross wakes up with a start and startles Rachel. The guy next to him starts laughing, which starts Ross laughing, Rachel gives him a look and he stops.)
Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I dont have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt.... I dont mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.
Rachel: Ahhhhh, salmon skin roll. (She does the finger thing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Rachel: So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that okay?
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Rachel: Okay? Whoa, wait! (She undoes one button on Phoebe's dress.)
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Rachel: Well, why doesnt he practice with a girl?
Rachel: Diane Keeton.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Rachel: Ugh. (To another customer that's leaving.) Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there? (Hands him the coffee pot.) Go ahead. (He does so.) Thank you. (To the gang.) Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
Rachel: Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too!
Rachel: Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is closing the door on the tarantula cage.]
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Rachel: No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Rachel: No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros!
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Rachel: Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate!
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Rachel: Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail...
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmers bodies!
Rachel: Whoa-whoa-whoa, lets say more!
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
Rachel: God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Rachel: Oh we were, but that was just a (pause as the audience reacts), I mean that was just a big drunken mistake.
Rachel: Um, seven e-e-eight, eight years. Wow.
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing her checkbook as Joey enters from his room wearing a hockey helmet, gloves, and shin guards.]
Rachel: I know, I know, but uh just, I'm telling you, once, once you get past that part, that where it-it just feels like you wanna die, he's-he's really a good person.
Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Rachel: Noo! (Laughs) Angels.
Rachel: O-oh my God!
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
[Scene: The museum planetarium. Ross and Rachel enter on stage.]
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Ross: Oh, thanks Gunther. (He takes it, hands the plate it's on to Rachel, sets it down on the table, and proceeds to pound it into oblivion while saying.) STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!!