words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
RACHEL: What!
RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
RACHEL: [to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
RACHEL: Bye-bye Julie. [Julie leaves]
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: Hey, c'mon, cut it out.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Sure.
RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me.
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
RACHEL: Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school?
RACHEL: No, no no no, don't need to know the details.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: I'd wait.
RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more.
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
RACHEL: What did, what did he say?
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
RACHEL: Maybe that's all we do, what about Julie?
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine.
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
RACHEL: Nah, uh, uh, uh, uh.
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: So, it's pretty late, you're probably uh, not still planning on. . .
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
RACHEL: I know, yeah, sorry.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
RACHEL: Ohh, God.
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
Rachel: No-no Ph-Ph-Ph-Ph (She starts laughing.)
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (worried) What?
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Rachel: Oh God.
Rachel: Morning. You wanted to see me?
Rachel: Okay look Mr. Zelner
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Yeah. (Motions for him to continue.)
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Rachel: Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two oclock position.
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
Rachel: I, uh, think you already are.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Rachel: Thank you were so excited
Rachel: Hmmm .
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Rachel: Yeah, otherwise Im not going.
Ross and Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Man: Rachel!
Rachel: Oh
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
(Cut to Rachel and Ross)
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Rachel: Well, that wouldve been very hard to say no too.
Rachel: (joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs.
Rachel: Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?
Rachel: Goodnight
Rachel: I will think about it.
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Rachel: Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD.
Rachel: Oh stupid metric system!
Phoebe: For God sakes, its Rachel!
Rachel: Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?
Rachel: God she is unbelievable.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Rachel: Yeah! I got my girls.
Rachel: What? What happened?
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
Rachel: Have you been working out?
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Rachel: You too!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
(Rachel throws some of hers down.)
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Rachel: Well hello! So, when are we gettin back out on the water matey?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
RACHEL: I am. Let me just get my coat.
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
<Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen>
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!