words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
RACHEL: What!
RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
RACHEL: [to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
RACHEL: Bye-bye Julie. [Julie leaves]
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: Hey, c'mon, cut it out.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Sure.
RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me.
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
RACHEL: Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school?
RACHEL: No, no no no, don't need to know the details.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: I'd wait.
RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more.
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
RACHEL: What did, what did he say?
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
RACHEL: Maybe that's all we do, what about Julie?
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine.
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
RACHEL: Nah, uh, uh, uh, uh.
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: So, it's pretty late, you're probably uh, not still planning on. . .
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
RACHEL: I know, yeah, sorry.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
RACHEL: Ohh, God.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full.
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Rachel: Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off?
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror?
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Rachel: Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
Rachel: Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: Are you gonna let me play?
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Rachel: Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian!
Rachel: Look, either help me or go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
Rachel: Uhh I think I just got engaged.
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: (closes her magazine) Can I get you some water?
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Rachel: I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
Rachel: Uh, I think I just did. And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Rachel: Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news!
Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?
(The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner.
Rachel: No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.
Rachel: Oh, y'know what, I didnt want cinnamon on this.
Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Phoebe: Rachel? Oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?
Rachel: Do you want some pancakes?
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
RACHEL: I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date.
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Phoebe and Rachel: Aww.
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
RACHEL: No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)