words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
RACHEL: What!
RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
RACHEL: [to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
RACHEL: Bye-bye Julie. [Julie leaves]
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: Hey, c'mon, cut it out.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Sure.
RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me.
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
RACHEL: Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school?
RACHEL: No, no no no, don't need to know the details.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: I'd wait.
RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more.
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
RACHEL: What did, what did he say?
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
RACHEL: Maybe that's all we do, what about Julie?
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine.
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
RACHEL: Nah, uh, uh, uh, uh.
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: So, it's pretty late, you're probably uh, not still planning on. . .
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
RACHEL: I know, yeah, sorry.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
RACHEL: Ohh, God.
Rachel: Okay, fine. (She gets up and walks into her bedroom)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are entering]
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
Rachel: Oh we just put her down for a nap.
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
Rachel: Oh my God! (Notices the boots) Oh Monica! Those boots are amazing!
Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.
Rachel: Shes doing it Look, shes breast-feeding look!
Rachel: I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Rachel: Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so you think youre gonna go out?
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Rachel: Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? (Walks away.)
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isnt that a line from the show?!
Rachel: No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So!
(Rachel and Sophie both back out and close the door without saying anything.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, itll still be broken then.
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie…
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
Rachel: Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh?
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because Im going to London.
(Rachel backs out with a confused look on her face.)
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Uh, actually, I think I'm gonna be busy.
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Rachel: And I-I am just trying to figure out why.
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Rachel: Oh no, I think Im gonna go home and eat ten candy bars.
Rachel: Oh please. (He does so.)
[Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.]
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Rachel: Im not here! Thats just my Chinese food!
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.
Rachel: I know I told you, its a really big problem.
Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.
Phoebe: Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore?
Rachel: You wanna go inside and have some coffee?
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Rachel: Ok...this could be a little awkward...I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance?
Rachel: I know, but all that work youre doing to get it ready, I just (goes into her bedroom.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Rachel: just... don't talk... (she kisses him)
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Rachel: You walked around all night in the city by yourself?
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Monica: Rachel?!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Rachel: (pause) Would you like some pancakes?
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?