words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Rachel: So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?
Rachel: And?
Rachel: Look at that!
Rachel: What?!
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Rachel: No-no, I bought those.
Rachel: Yeah. (Rachel walks away.)
Rachel: Well, who wouldnt?!
Rachel: And Mrs.?!
Rachel: What?!!
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
Rachel: Some uh, some visual aides.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still packing.]
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, youre still alive! How are you doing?
Rachel: Pheebs, what-what are you doing?
Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?
(Phoebe goes and lies down as Rachel opens the drawer Monica hid the candlesticks in and as Monica walks out of her room.)
Rachel: Monica!
Monica: Hmm? (Rachel holds up the candlesticks.)
Rachel: Did-did you take these back?
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Rachel: Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Rachel: Yeah, and not a very good one.
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Rachel: (in an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are having a tug-of-war over the disputed candlesticks.]
Rachel: No! They are mine!
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
Rachel: Well
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are playing phone pranks on Ross.]
Rachel: Really? Really?!
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Really?! How do you know?
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
Rachel: (answering it) Hello?
Rachel: Uh no, hes not. Can I take a message?
Rachel: Ross got married againNooooooo!!!!!!!!!
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!
Rachel: All right!!
Rachel: Pheebs...
Rachel: Hello, Chip.
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Rachel: Well take Literature!!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Rachel: Ohh-ha-ha!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]
(Rachel mouths Shoot! or something similar.)
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Rachel: (interrupting) Whoa-ho.
Rachel: Oh honey, Im sorry.
Rachel: Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so great!
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: Ill go with you.
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Rachel: What is she doing here?
Rachel: Thank you.
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: No, Ill think about it. Yeah.
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
[Scene: The lecture, Ross is passed out against Rachels shoulder.]
(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)
Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after hes left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars.
Rachel: Yeah! Right! Okay, Ill see you guys later. (starts to leave) Woo hoo!
Rachel: You promised you would break up with her!
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: You never come into this office again!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Rachel: Yeah I know its really boring, but its like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
Rachel: Sophie sit!!
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: No! God, would you just calm down!
Rachel: All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.
Rachel: Foot rubs for a month!
Rachel: (happily) Yeah!!
Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Rachel: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Monica: Rachel!
Rachel: What?
RACHEL: Alright you guys, I'm takin' off my shirt.
Rachel: Right!
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
Rachel: No.
Rachel: I didnt I never said that.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Rachel is talking to Monica about her job.]
Rachel: No! Wait no! Shut upI mean dont cry! Let me get my checkbook! (Grabs her checkbook and runs after him.)
Rachel: Wait, Im not just gonna drink somebodys old coffee.
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Rachel: Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
Rachel: Oh! My hero! What happened?
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Rachel: Go!!
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Rachel is on her date with Michael (MICH).]
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Rachel: (shouting) Im sorry!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
Rachel: Hey! So, did you quit?
(Rachel starts to laugh.)
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Rachel: Where?!
Rachel: (teasingly) And while Im gone dont you boys sneak a taste.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Rachel: (proud of her self) I almost caught that one!
Rachel: (laughing) What was that?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Rachel: You got fired?!
Rachel: Sweety...
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...