words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, shes returning from lunch to see Tag not doing his sit-ups.]
Rachel: Oh, no sit-ups today Tag?
Rachel: Oh, well drop and give me ten more!
Rachel: Uh, I-I had a drink with lunch. Did those cost reports come in?
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Melissa: Hey Rachel!
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya?
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
Rachel: Oh yeah. All right, back to work.
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm here. (Hands him one.)
Rachel: Yeah, I dont think so Joe.
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Ohh thats nice.
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Rachel: (Pause) Oh.
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Rachel: Yknow, all the women.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Joey nods his head questioningly and Rachel nods no.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Tag: Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is entering.]
Tag: Good morning Rachel.
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Rachel: Oh yeah? Another night of birdogging the chickas?
Rachel: Wow! I did not see that coming.
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Sp-spoil?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Well, I-Im startin too.
Rachel: Yes! Hell yes!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love to!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Rachel: Well, because she loves you and because you love her.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: What's up?
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Rachel: Yknow what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed?
RACHEL: But what about Phoebe?
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Rachel: Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.
Rachel: I didnt know you could get married here.
RACHEL: Honey, I'm sorry.
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Done.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Rachel: (breaking the kiss) Oh God!
Rachel: Im not paying for half of that! Im only staying here until my apartment gets fixed.
RACHEL: Well, but Pheebs.
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Customer: (To Rachel) Ahh, miss? More coffee?
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
RACHEL: Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
RACHEL: Hey.
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
RACHEL: Do you?
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken!
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
RACHEL: It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top.
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
Rachel: We hate that guy.
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Rachel: Do you have any ice?
Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Rachel: Cause I know hes gonna flip out and I hate it when hes angry.
RACHEL: You don't have birds.
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
RACHEL: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Rachel: (coming from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs?
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
MNCA: We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel.
Rachel: Mindy, my maid of. Oh!
Ballerina: I love you! (Hugs Rachel.)
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
[Rachel enters.]
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
[Rachel takes a bite.]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
[Rachel enters.]
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
[Ross and Rachel hug.]
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Rachel: Okay, oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?
Monica: Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey.. are you okay? Where-where's Paolo?
RACHEL: Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left.
[Rachel opens the door.]
Monica: (taking the phone) Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... (Smiles at Rachel to reassure her) Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.(Listens) Thank you. (Hangs up)
RACHEL: Hey.
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!
RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know.
Rachel: Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?
Rachel: Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
RACHEL: No, nothin'.
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Rachel: Could tonight be the Night?