words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, shes returning from lunch to see Tag not doing his sit-ups.]
Rachel: Oh, no sit-ups today Tag?
Rachel: Oh, well drop and give me ten more!
Rachel: Uh, I-I had a drink with lunch. Did those cost reports come in?
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Melissa: Hey Rachel!
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya?
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
Rachel: Oh yeah. All right, back to work.
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm here. (Hands him one.)
Rachel: Yeah, I dont think so Joe.
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Ohh thats nice.
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Rachel: (Pause) Oh.
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Rachel: Yknow, all the women.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Joey nods his head questioningly and Rachel nods no.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Tag: Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is entering.]
Tag: Good morning Rachel.
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Rachel: Oh yeah? Another night of birdogging the chickas?
Rachel: Wow! I did not see that coming.
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Sp-spoil?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Well, I-Im startin too.
Rachel: Yes! Hell yes!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love to!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Rachel: (surprised) OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets (picks up the bowl)!
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Rachel: Ohh. (She touches his arm for support and likes what she feels) Ooh!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.
Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
(Rachel laughs and Ross mocks her.)
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel’s old and now empty room.)
Rachel: Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy....
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Luisa: Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!
Rachel: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Rachel: Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo's clothes over the side.]
Rachel: Oh! Its you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
Rachel: Oh! That would be sooo much fun!
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Rachel: Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies!
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Rachel: And yknow what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.
Rachel: Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work.
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
Rachel: I-I, got a job at Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Rachel: (Joey walks to the door) Although...
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Rachel: Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody whos had a baby. Like your mom?
Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]
Rachel: Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!
Rachel: What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to Hi!
Rachel: Oh my God, I cant believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
[Scene: A Restaurant, a waitress is taking Joey and Rachels dinner order.]
RACHEL: Oh, come on, would you just grab my ass.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel is changing Ben's diaper under Ross's supervision.]
Rachel: Oh my god, this is the worst date ever!
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Rachel: Yeah. So Frank, three babies. Whew, that just seems like a lot, huh?
Rachel: Oh, Sophie, I guess you didnt hear about Joanna
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: I thought you only met him once?
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Rachel: Theres not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married.
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
Rachel: Ok... uh... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl...
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
RACHEL: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind.
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Kim: Rachel didn't you just light that?
Rachel: Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasnt a chair.
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but youre still going out with her!
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
Rachel: I have absolutely no idea.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
RACHEL: Maybe. But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
Rachel: Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.