words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Rachel: So fellas
Rachel: fellas
Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Rachel: Shake that nasty butt...
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Jill: No! Yknow what Rachel? Youre right, yknow he has been really nice to me.
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Rachel: Yeah it was.
Rachel: Oh! Ive got a lot of those too!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Rachel: Oh! Im sorry! Are we having an 89-year-old? How about Dayton?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Rachel: Oh come on!!
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Rachel: I-I am not uptightHey-hey-hey-oh-oh! Listen, I am not uptight, man.
Rachel: Oh no-no, no! Its good! Its all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren!
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in.
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: I get it!
Rachel: Just tell me how.
Rachel: Oh we-we didnt.
Rachel: Okay. (Rachel lies back.)
Rachel: But I hired you!
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Oh hi.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Rachel: Hi Dr. Long, how are you?
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Rachel: What?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Rachel: Oh yeah? Another night of birdogging the chickas?
Rachel: 3-2-1 oh!!
Rachel: Im sorry, I cant!
Rachel: I cant!
Rachel: Dont say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?
Rachel: I cant. I cant push anymore, I cant.
Rachel: Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Rachel: Oh God!
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Rachel: No, not yet.
Rachel: Hello baby girl.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
(Everyone except Ross and Rachel leave.)
(Rachel starts crying again.)
Rachel: I was reliving it.
Rachel: Well what are we going to do?
Rachel: Oh honey, but you love that name.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh, just tell us! Were not gonna want it!
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: (pause) Right.
Rachel: Nothing.
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Eh, just a tad.
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Rachel: Joey.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Joey.
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Rachel: Hes perfect, hes never been better.
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
[Cut back into Rachels room.]
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Rachel: Hey you.
Rachel: Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
Rachel: I know, I still need to talk to you.
RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel are arriving and see his parents.]
Rachel: Hi.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Rachel: Really?! Even Ross?
Rachel: I cant say that Im surprised.
Rachel: Well did you know he was gonna ask me?
Rachel: I guess so.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Rachel: Im sorry honey, what were you saying?
Rachel: Yknow youre-youre probably wondering about the old date on there.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something.