words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Rachel: So fellas
Rachel: fellas
Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Rachel: Shake that nasty butt...
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Rachel: Oh, god, I know it, that I freaked you out.
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over to Rachel.) Hey Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Rachel: Thats great!
Rachel: Ohhhh!
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Oh wait Chandler, too many cooks
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Rachel: What do you, what do you mean?
Rachel: Ugh
Rachel: Monica.
Rachel: Surprise
Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?
Rachel: All right? (He sets the award down.) Thank you.
Rachel: Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! (She grabs their cigarettes and lighters and throws them in the trash.)
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
Rachel: Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake!
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Rachel: (tossing things in the fire) Ok, Barry's letters. Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.
Rachel: Shut up.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Oh please
Rachel: Wow! What do you do now?
Rachel: Oh tomorrow, oh I dont know. Um
Rachel: (To Monica) Yes.
Rachel: Hey!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Rachel: Stop picturing it!!
Rachel: That is not a problem.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
Rachel: Some of them.
Rachel: Oh! (They enter. Rachel sees his father, lying on a bed, with tubes, drip and everything) Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
Rachel: Huh. Does Monica know about this?
Rachel: It-it did!
Rachel: (shocked) Vanilla?!
Rachel: Chandler, you have an assistant right?
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Rachel: Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!
Rachel: Oh I dont know honey. Its gonna be really late.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Rachel: Oh. Oh, thats great!
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is showing Chandler the selection of tuxedos.]
Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)
Rachel: But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Mona: Oh, Rachel! Wait! Hey, I hope you dont take this the wrong way, but, but, um what are you doing?
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Rachel: No!!
Rachel: How can you not remember us kissing?!
Rachel: Thank you Phoebe.
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Rachel: All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. (Exits.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Rachel: It happened! I am telling you it happened!
Rachel: (shocked) What?
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Rachel: (moving away) Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Rachel: Im sorry!
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Rachel: And?
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Rachel: I dont want to say.
Rachel: Monica what?
Rachel: What is the emergency?!
Rachel: Oh yknow what honey? Lets not talk about that right now?
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
Rachel: Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons?
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Rachel: (uncovers the dog) Hi!
Rachel: Well, yknow, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that couldve meant.)
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: (coolly) Hey Jess.
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Rachel: I dont know why they didnt just tell us.
Rachel: (she leans over and kisses him on the cheek) Honey, I was wondering....
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
Rachel: I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I KNOW!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Rachel: Joey!