words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Rachel: So fellas
Rachel: fellas
Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Rachel: Shake that nasty butt...
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Monica: Rachel?!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Rachel: (pause) Would you like some pancakes?
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Rachel: Ohh, well you got em.
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Rachel: Hello, Paul.
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Guess what?
Rachel: Thank you.
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Uh, credit card.
Rachel: Um... my... father.
Rachel: I don't think so.
Rachel/actress: It's over! You have to accept that.
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: Sorry-
Rachel: Sure, but come on, as big as your wedding?
Rachel: I knew.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe...
Rachel: Goodnight.
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Rachel: I'm just serving it.
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
(Rachel enters from her room.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Rachel: Oh, I am sorry...
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Rachel: You're twins?
Rachel: Oh.. a little..
Rachel: A lot.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Rachel: Yeah and Im a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Rachel: The lights, please..
Rachel: Barry?
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Rachel: I dumped him.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Rachel: Okay..
Rachel: Wow.