words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Rachel: So fellas
Rachel: fellas
Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Rachel: Shake that nasty butt...
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Rachel: Me too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: Hypothetically!
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
Rachel: Fine!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Phoebe: Hey Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Really?!
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.]
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Rachel: Hey Joey, what cha doing?
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Rachel: Im gonna marry someone good yknow.
Rachel: I mean it's my fault.
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
Rachel: How come you are?!
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Rachel: Okay, uh
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Rachel: its gonna be okay!
Rachel: Thanks!
Rachel: Oh!
Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel.
Rachel: Thank you judges.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Rachel: Well, I brought the next best thing.
Rachel: Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
Rachel: Aw, thanks!
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
Rachel: Oh, make it stop!
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Hi Pheebs.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Rachel: You do? Why?
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Yknow, all the women.
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Why?! What?! Are you kidding?!
Rachel: Hi.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I know!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Rachel: Bye!
Rachel: Cupid.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.)
Rachel: Im sorry?
Rachel: Noooooooo!!
Rachel: Well look whos here!
Rachel: Uh yes, heroin and crack.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering
Rachel: Well now whats the rush?
Rachel: Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello?
Erin: Hey Rachel.
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna go over the basic points just one more time, are you ready?
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Rachel: But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.
Rachel: Yeah, see ya.
Rachel: Ugh, tramp!
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
Rachel: Hi!
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no, yeah.
Rachel: Joey
Rachel: Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.