words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Rachel: So fellas
Rachel: fellas
Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt?
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Rachel: Shake that nasty butt...
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Rachel: You guys are really right there arent you?
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Rachel: We need a hat..
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Yeah, you should, really.
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Rachel: Yknow, you should never be allowed to talk to people!
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving some guy coffee.]
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
RACHEL: What? Come on, you do what you want to do. Do we always have to do everything together?
Rachel: Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head.
Rachel: I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Tommy: Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! (starts to walk out and stops) (to Rachel) Well, I guess were not going out anymore. Whaa!!!
Rachel: Yeah! Can you believe that something that stupid actually got us our apartment back?
Rachel: Well I-I-Im not moving.
Rachel: Noooo.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so happy!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Oh, go on! You telling people about me?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Rachel: Oh, I cant watch this. (turns her eyes away)
Rachel: How did it go?
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams?
Rachel: No its not!
Rachel: Op, I like credit cards!
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Rachel: Okay, so anyway Im sittin in my office and guess who walks in.
(Rachel enters)
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Yknow I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but yknow Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.
Rachel: Im an assistant buyer!!
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Rachel: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try."
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Rachel: Yeah!
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Rachel: That was her idea, I just gave her a nudge.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh, Im so sorry.
Rachel: Well, I didn't know what else to do!
Rachel: Well, at least thats a great suit.
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You dont tell the guy that!
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Rachel: Yeah, thats true.
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Rachel: Wh Come on! Remember? We were on the sleeping porch! We couldnt stop giggling? And our coconuts kept knockin together?
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: No. Have you?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Rachel: Really?! You think that will work?
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
Rachel: Well, Im also sending out.... good thoughts.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Rachel: Great.
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, I blew it. I wouldnt of even hired me.
Rachel: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)
Rachel: Hmm-mmm.
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Rachel: Really?
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Rachel: But I couldnt even if I wanted to, because I dont know! I swear; I didnt see anything, and I dont want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Sure. You got it. Great!
Rachel: No! Nothing!
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Ohh! Right! Right, sorry, Ill be right back!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh. Oh, right.
Rachel: Yeah! That would be great!