words in movies
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Ross: Food.
Ross: Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice.
Rachel: No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you!
Ross: I just can’t see Chandler cheating!
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Ross: What's going on?
Ross: Oh my God.
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Ross: (sarcastic) So you wanna buy a house in the 50's?
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Ross: What?
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Ross: What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie…
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Ross: Two seconds...
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Ross: No, 19.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Don’t blame the questions!
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: What the hell are doing?!!
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Ross: Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window.
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Ross: I love this. (he got a sweater)
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
ROSS: Wait hold on Tony, hold on. [answers second line] Hello. Hi, yeah no, she's right here. Um hold on. [gets first line] Hi Tony, can I call you back? That's uh, that's my sister's boyfriend.
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Ross: Itll be okay Joe.
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Ross: You're crazy.
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
(Ross leaves to do so and Rachel enters with a guy.)
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Ross: Hmm? (Turns around and sees that its Elizabeth) Oh, a student I dont know.
Ross: No-no, he's, he's very docile.
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
[Scene; Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch. Ross walks in.]
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Chandler: Where's Ross?
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Monica: (Offering Ross the skull) Licorice?
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Ross: (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit!
Ross: Oh! Man I dont think Ive seen you since uh, Lance Davis graduation party.
Ross: There's no seatbelt!
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Charlie: I'm sorry... (introduces them to each other) Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart.
Ross: Right, no, I understand.
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Ross: Really? Its not just frowned upon?
Ross: Oh! (Recoils in horror.)
Ross: Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?
Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: Okay, stop it! I cant deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.]
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: JFK.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Ross: And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?
ROSS: Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?
Ross: (even more shocked) Wha..? I need 6 graduate students.
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?
Ross: Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... (laughs stupidly)
Ross: (stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Ross: Im gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)
Ross: Calm down. Theres no reason to get testy.
Ross: What? I cant cancel on Joan!
Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Ross: Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
[Time lapse, after dinner. Ross stands up from his self-made map.]
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
Ross: Well, Im a spud
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
Ross: In the hospital.
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Ross: (childish) Huh-huh, they already know it.
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Ross: Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.
Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Ross: I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...
Ross: It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this.
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Ross: (to Chandler) Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.
Ross: (jumping to his feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented.