words in movies
Ross: Happy birthday!!!
Ross: Weve got presents!
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
Ross: Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh?!
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldnt it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
Ross: Damnit! (Shuts the car off.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Ross: Okay, forward. ForwardStop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, backStop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forwardStop! Stop! Stop!
Monica: Ross, just forget about it. This guys got you totally wedged in.
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: (to Tag) Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.
Ross: Hey! Look whos back! Its the birthday girl! Hows the birthday girl feeling?
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Ross: Come on!
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it up and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: (interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Ross: You wanna buy a car?
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Ross: Multiple orgasms!
[Scene: Library. Ross show up with a MonkeyShine Beer poster.]
Ross: I�m serious. C�mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside, while she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go.
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
ROSS: I can't believe this.
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Chandler: (to Ross) "Big guy?"
ROSS: Zoo dollars?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
ROSS: I uh, I don't know, I guess I'm just gonna see, see what happens.
(Ross is practically drooling over Rachel at this point.)
ROSS: Ooooohhhh.
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...
Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
ROSS: Buddy, my monkey?
ROSS: That guy Lipson?
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
ROSS: This is unbelievable.
ROSS: Of course.
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
Ross: Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. (pause)
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Ross: Perfect. Perfect. So now everybody's getting kissed but me.
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: Rach, I think youre reading a little too much into it.
ROSS: I know.
Joey: Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel.
Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!
MONICA: Ross, there he is.
(In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors of the Ralph Lauren building.)
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
ROSS: Uh, actually, we're getting a cat.
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
ROSS: Don't toy with me.
Ross: Well, OK, its for a boy. Well, I know its a little out there, but Darwin.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
ROSS: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
Ross: (stutters looking for words) Ezels!!
[Ross enters]
RUSS: [sounding like Ross] Hhhhiiiii.
ROSS: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse.
ROSS: Good for you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
ROSS: With mealworms.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
ROSS: Huh?
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
ROSS: [being drawn in by her talk] Uh-huh.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
ROSS: What happened?
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
ROSS: What?
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Ross: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
ROSS: But, you are.
ROSS: I was saving you.
ROSS: No, but. . .
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .