words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Everyone almost simultaneously except Ross: yeah thats a great idea!
Ross: No thanks!
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Ross: The woman just vanished!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
(Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment)
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Monica: (to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Ross: (mockingly)Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery!
Ross: (mockingly)A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance!
Ross: You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! (rubs lamp, stops because it's very hot) Ah!! That thing gets hot!!
Rachel: You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?
Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win.
Ross: Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.
Ross: Why would I eat my own arm?
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Ross: Why?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Ross: I don't know, probably just invest it.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Ross: (to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Ross: Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ...
Ross: Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too.
Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel.
Ross: (tries to be sexy too) Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. (stops) no I can't.
Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!
Ross: 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ...
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!!
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Go, go, go!!
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea!
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Ross: Oh, we have one too!!
Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!!
Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing?
Ross: Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!
Ross: Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word.
Ross: Okay, what does it mean?
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).
Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word!
Ross: Ok, use it in a sentence.
Ross: It's not a word!
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....
(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
Ross: Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.
Monica and Ross: Seven.
Ross: Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers.
(they all look at Ross)
Ross: I guess if everybody else is...
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Paulo: (entering) Hey, hey Ross.
ROSS: Oh.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
ROSS: Hi guys.
ROSS: Uh huh.
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Ross: (looking at them) Wh-what's going on?
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
ROSS: Please tell me you're joking.
ROSS: You're over me?
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
ROSS: You've had feelings for me?
ROSS: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
ROSS: Yep.
ROSS: Chandler. When did he... when did he... when did he?
ROSS: Cat. [leaves]
ROSS: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Ross: Hmmm-mmmm.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Good.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
ROSS: Hi.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
RACH: [to Ross] Hey, you.
ROSS: How are you?
ROSS: Good.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
ROSS: There was never a good time.
RACH: Did uh, Ross call?
Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)
ROSS: I don't know.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Well, uh.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
[Ross leaves.]
ROSS: That's right, he's not Drake, he's Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin.
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
ROSS: No, you don't.
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
ROSS: Number six: the way you smell.
ROSS: No?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
ROSS: China.
Ross: I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident.
ROSS: No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me!
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
JOEY: Hey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
[Ross is at his apartment.]
ROSS: Hi.
Ross: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?
ROSS: Look, can, can you do something for me?
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
ROSS: We're just tryin' to do a nice thing here.
ROSS: Hey guys.
Ross: I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway?
ROSS: Hey guys.
ROSS: Yeah?
ROSS: Um, just some presents.