words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
Joey: Ross?
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
Ross: So you two are..?
Ross: And have you .. ed?
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Joey: Ross..
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Ross: No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!!
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
Ross: Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!!
Charlie: Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Ross: I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension.
Ross: We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go?
Ross: My fajitas!!
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)
Ross: Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!!
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: Totally.
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: No!
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)
Ross: Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed!
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Ross: Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Ross: Joey.
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out)
Ross: We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero.
Ross: (annoyed) um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur".
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Ross: Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word.
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Ross: Just a smidge.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Ross: Baking it didn't help, huh?
(Ross continues south and his now wrapped around Joeys legs.)
Ross: I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies.
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Joey: Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross dont
(Ross, inside the door, releases a sign of relief.� Back in the hall, Mike's cell phone rings.)
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Elizabeth are deciding what to do on their second date.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Ross: I think, sub-consciously
Ross: No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's?
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
Chandler: It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me.
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
[Scene: The Library, Ross enters and heads to the desk to talk to the male librarian on duty.]
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Ross: Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really wouldve wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Ross: (innocently) What?
Ross: Mmm-Hmm. (Picking up their wine glasses.)
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Why dont you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Monica: (fingering her elbow): Ross?
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
ROSS: Hey, we can rescedule for Saturday.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Monica: (lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.
Ross: Don't make jokes now.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Ross: (nonchalantly) I'm never gonna find love again.
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Monica: Ross, cough drops, please?
Ross: Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay.
Ross: Oh good, you scared me for a minute.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.