words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
Joey: Ross?
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
Ross: So you two are..?
Ross: And have you .. ed?
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Joey: Ross..
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Ross: No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!!
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
Ross: Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!!
Charlie: Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Ross: I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension.
Ross: We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go?
Ross: My fajitas!!
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)
Ross: Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!!
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: Totally.
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: No!
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)
Ross: Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed!
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Ross: Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Ross: Joey.
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
ROSS: Ugh.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: My mommies love me. That's clever.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
ROSS: Tho?
ROSS: Ohhh.
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Paulo: (entering) Hey, hey Ross.
ROSS: Oh.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
ROSS: Hi guys.
ROSS: Uh huh.
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Ross: (looking at them) Wh-what's going on?
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
ROSS: Please tell me you're joking.
ROSS: You're over me?
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
ROSS: You've had feelings for me?
ROSS: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
ROSS: Yep.
ROSS: Chandler. When did he... when did he... when did he?
ROSS: Cat. [leaves]
ROSS: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Ross: Hmmm-mmmm.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Good.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
ROSS: Hi.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
RACH: [to Ross] Hey, you.
ROSS: How are you?
ROSS: Good.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
ROSS: There was never a good time.
RACH: Did uh, Ross call?
Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)
ROSS: I don't know.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Well, uh.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
[Ross leaves.]
ROSS: That's right, he's not Drake, he's Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin.
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
ROSS: No, you don't.
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
ROSS: Number six: the way you smell.
ROSS: No?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?