words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: YeahNo!!
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Ross: This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner.
Ross: Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident...
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
Ross: (stunned at the complement) Youre welcome.
Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?
Ross: Well, the lighting was okay.
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Ross: She seems really, really fun!
Ross: What?!
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Ross: (opens it to reveal Phoebe) Hey!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Ross: (in his British accent) Im sorry, Ive got plans with my sister.
Ross: She's not- past, she's present, she's back.
Ross: You're not his godfather.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Phoebe: To Ross.
Ross: So?
Ross: Pretty please? Not very uh, 007.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!
ROSS: I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
Ross: Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
Ross: (continuing) " subcategories. The first of these subcategories is "
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Ross: ...everyone, this is Chandler!
(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Ross: Come on, come on, were-were-were lighting the candles!
Ross: Hi.
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Ross: (stands up) Now umm, remember Im still learning.
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
Ross: (entering) What's going on?
Ross: What?! What?!
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
Ross: Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about, it's totally benign.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
Ross: Oo-oo!
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Ross: Got me.
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again.
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: (quietly) Dude!
Ross: Hey!
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Ross: You cant do that!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Only way to fly.
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Ross: No way!
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Ross: What do you think youre doing?!
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Ross: Please don't take her away from me!
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Ross: Who?
Ross: People need juice!
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Ross: Good evening officer.
Ross: I know. I know.
Ross: (mortified) Hi.