words in movies
Ross: Pheebs, did you want a cookie?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey guys!
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
Ross: So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet?
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Ross: Hey, how can it not be me?!HeyHey!
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Ross: Great. Great.
Ross: Yeah. Tell ya what, lets not invite any of the anthropologists, only the dinosaur dudes!
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Ross: Okay, see ya later.
Chandler: See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Ross: Hey listen man, about the stripper
Ross: Good call!
Gunther: (to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)
Ross: Hey-hey, what are those?
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Ross: Wow! Yeah!
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Ross: Oh, thanks! (Takes it and throws it back into the box and leaves.)
Rachel: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Rosss wedding.
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Ross: Yeah, right!
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
Ross: My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?!
Ross: (dialling the phone) All right-all right, fine! I-Im gonna call the cops!
Ross: Not on you! On the stripper!
Ross: Okay, well, well call the company that sent her!
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Ross: Diverse.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Ross: Wheres my ring? My dead grandmothers wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
Ross: We know you took so just-just save yourself the time and confess!
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Ross: Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! (He grabs the ring, kisses it, and then does a double-take realising where its been.)
Joey: Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
Ross: No, thats all right.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Ross: Total wuss!
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Ross: Well umm
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Ross: Come on!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Ross: You wanna buy a car?
Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?
Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Ross: What? A brain transplant?!
Ross: Its ridiculous!
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
Ross: Okay, I (Walks away.)
Ross: No! And Im not gonna be, so you can save you little speech.
Joey and Ross: No. No.
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.]
ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.
Ross: Ok, Mom never hit.
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: Hey you leave Marcel out of this!
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Ross: What?!
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Were you the ones called the cops?!
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Ross: Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids
Ross: One, two, three, four!
Ross: So?
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Ross: Whats the matter?
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
(He goes to sit down next to Ross.)
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Rachel storms in.]
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
[Scene: The hospital. Rachel is pouring her self a cup of coffee. Ross approaches from behind.]
Joey: Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!!
Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!
Ross: I could ask her to live with me!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Ross: What? What? What?! You guys knew? (Joey and Rachel backup against the door.) You all knew and you didn't tell me?!!
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Ross: All right, let's uh, let's bring it back down and-and try again.
Ross: Okay, Im gonna get your coat and then Ill-Ill put you in a cab.
All: Hey! (They all go hug her, except for Ross.)
Ross: Just a high pitched intimidating noise.