words in movies
Ross: Are you kidding?
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth!
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?
Rachel: ...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that (in a deep voice, mocking Ross) what's in the inside is important...
(Ross and Joey enter)
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
Ross: Dude, I wanted him to guess.
Ross: Guess where they are?
Ross: Did I do something to you?
Ross: So?
Ross: He's right, man.
Joey: That's some gentle comedy, dude. (he and Ross leave)
Ross: We're still going at the game, right?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh! What a game, huh?
Ross: I can't believe Chandler is missing this!
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Ross: Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal.
Ross: One more fight!
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.]
Ross: Forty-five minutes.
Ross: (handing him his coat) Here!
Ross: You may want to lose the foam finger!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: We're late too! (Rachel screams)
Ross: So, nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy!
Ross: You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee.
Ross: Let me see this... (he takes the trophy from Rachel's hands) Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division.
Ross: You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant?
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Ross: So this is an annual thing?
Ross: Yeah. What are we gonna do?
Ross: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!
Ross: (to Joey) HEY!
Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?
Ross: I got mugged. And they stole my pocket.
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Ross: Well, let's just go in there and face them.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Ross: What is that?
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
Ross: How are we gonna decide who gets this?
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)
Ross: That's worse than no food.
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Ross: I don't know...
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
(Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom)
Ross: I feel terrible.
Ross : So bad.
Ross: Really girls, not cool.
Ross: It's a day to be thankful.
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Ross: Yeah! Let's go out.
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: I lent them to Ross.
Ross: I gave them to Joey.
Ross: (looking at Joey's butt) I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.
Ross: Nice!
(Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.)
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Ross: I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out)
Ross: We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero.
Ross: (annoyed) um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur".
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Ross: Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word.
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Ross: Just a smidge.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Ross: Baking it didn't help, huh?
(Ross continues south and his now wrapped around Joeys legs.)
Ross: I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies.
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Joey: Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross dont
(Ross, inside the door, releases a sign of relief.� Back in the hall, Mike's cell phone rings.)
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Elizabeth are deciding what to do on their second date.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Ross: I think, sub-consciously
Ross: No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's?
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
Chandler: It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me.
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
[Scene: The Library, Ross enters and heads to the desk to talk to the male librarian on duty.]
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Ross: Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really wouldve wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Ross: (innocently) What?
Ross: Mmm-Hmm. (Picking up their wine glasses.)
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Why dont you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Monica: (fingering her elbow): Ross?
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
ROSS: Hey, we can rescedule for Saturday.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Monica: (lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.
Ross: Don't make jokes now.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Ross: (nonchalantly) I'm never gonna find love again.
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Monica: Ross, cough drops, please?
Ross: Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay.
Ross: Oh good, you scared me for a minute.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.