words in movies
Chandler: We are. Hes meeting us here.
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Chandler: Y'know what maybe its gonna be okay, I mean its been a week.
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Monica: (seeing her) Okay, lets go!! Lets hit the road!!
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Phoebe: (turning around and picking a cup off of a table) Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! (handing her the cup) Okay, lets skedaddle.
Rachel: Wait, Im not just gonna drink somebodys old coffee.
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Rachel: Oh. (smiles) Heres your moisturiser. Hi!
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Phoebe: No, its just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
Chandler: Yeah, hes really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
[Theres a knock on the door.]
Chandler: Oh thats great, with my luck, thats gonna be him.
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Ross: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
Monica: Noo! Ill stay. Hes my brother.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Monica: Why? Do you think hes still mad at us?
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Phoebe: No, the No Smoking sign. Theres no smoking in my Grandmothers cab.
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Joey: Whats going on?
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Chandler: Okay, now lets decide who has the nicest ass.
Rachel: What, whats it, whats going on?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Ross: Wheres Ben?
Carol: Hes sleeping.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
[Rosss beeper goes off.]
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Carol: No. But its okay, Ill just put out pickles or something.
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Monica: (reading the sign) Whats pleh?
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Huh. Whats doofus spelled backwards?
Rachel: (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees its Ross) Ugh!!!
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
[Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joeys sign destroying it.]
Chandler: Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense!
Chandler: Oh, this is horrible, its just horrible.
Chandler: Its horrible.
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
Ross: All right Pheebs, your cabs ready.
Rachel: All right, lets go!
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Ross: Thats what you said last night.
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
Rachel: No, I think its very obvious whos wrong here.
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
Joey: Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Whos going with who?
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
[Ross tries to start the truck, and discovers the batterys dead.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: All right. (She does so and it brings the cooler closer together.) Hey-hey-hey!! (Sees whats in the cooler.) Sandwiches!
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Monica: Yknow what? It really creeps me out choosing other peoples sex clothes.
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Monica: But still, its a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his)
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
Chandler: Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
Monica: Sounds like shes got the ah, whole package.
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
Monica: Its almost 8 oclock, its almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Rachel: Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Ross: Uh thats an eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta.
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
(Sarah picks up some fries from Joey’s plate and Joey looks very angry. Then we’re back to Central Perk and Joey does a you-see-what-I-mean look to Phoebe)
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Rachel: Ah yes, but hes very protective of me so youd better watch yourself.
[Scene: The hotel, Rosss room, Emily is entering.]
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table, alone as a woman approaches.]
Monica: No, he’s picking up dinner, why, what’s up?
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
(Marcel points the remote at Monicas television, pressing a particular combination of keys. The logo SAP appears on the screen, and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed into Spanish.)
Monica: That’s not even a word!
Joey: Hey, for what its worth, with Rachel I dont think youll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) "anybody."
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Chandler: Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And theres another reason too.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but its wrong. Youre married.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
Phoebe: Okay, now would you say that thats more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.