words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.]
Ross: Well, Chandlers my oldest friend, but Joeys myNo! Ah! (points at Rachel)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Joey: Hey so wheres Ross?
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Monica: Wow, hes really not letting this go, is he?
Rachel: God how long do you think thats gonna last?
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Ms. McKenna: Ok if everyones on board, its settled, Chandler, (Walter puts his hand on Chandlers hand, Chandler sleeping puts his hand on top of his, he then wakes up and pulls his hand away) Chandler?
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Rachels muffin.]
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma is still crying.]
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Monica: Okay whats up
Monica: Whats going on?
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
[Scene: Ms. McKennas Office, Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
Ross: Yeah thats what she said.
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Joey: Hey, for what its worth, with Rachel I dont think youll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) "anybody."
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Ross enters.]
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Joey: You know, ah, Ive been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, its not my fault. Its a natural instinct.
Rachel: Ohh, I mean its just so realistic!
Joey: Its uh, right through there. (Points.)
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Ross: Hey! How long until Petes fight?
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Stop it!! Thats not funny!!
Chandler: Hey thats what I tell girls about me.
Jill: Its yours!
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Chandler: Stop it! Were doing this! Lets do it!
Monica: Thats the couch.
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]
Chandler: Yeah, lets just forget it.
Monica: Its not mayonnaise!!
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Phoebe: Surprise! Look whos back!
Woman: Hey Pheebs! Hows it going?!
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: Didnt you spend last night at Joeys?
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
Joey: Yknow whats more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Yknow whats even more generous than that?!!
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Ross: No, its a concept!
Tag: It wasnt on your list, but hopefully youll think its really fun.
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Mark: Oh, hi. Its Mark.
Joey: But its $2,000.
Ross: Whats up?
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Ross: Yes thats right.
Monica: Okay everybody, lets go! Lets go!
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Yknow what, lets do the catering business.
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Monica: Oh well, its not so bad.
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
Monica: Honey! Dinners ready!
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Elizabeth: Ohh thats so sweet!
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Monica: Yep! And lots of it!
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Mans Voice: Were still rolling!
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Monica: Whats the charity?
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
[Scene: Rosss office, hes opening the door to Elizabeth.]
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Ross: Whats-whats the difference?
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!