words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Frank: I know a guy whos the 18th.
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know shes too international, y'know shes never gonna be around.
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, cause thats why you wont get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Frank: (starts laughing) Wow! Thats wild! No, I had no idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Ross: Hey, its my list.
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! Whats going on?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Isabella: Its laminated!
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Ross: Thats excellent.
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Rachel: Thats all right.
Ross: Thats okay.
Monica: Thats okay.
Rachel: Oh yeah, whats it about?
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
Rachel: Well maybe hes just taking a nap.
Phoebe: Yes, and now hes using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg.
Chandler: Wheres Mary-Angela?
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: (turning around and picking a cup off of a table) Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! (handing her the cup) Okay, lets skedaddle.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is returning from Petes.]
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
Phoebe: Ha-ha, its not my baby, ha-ha-ha! (He leaves.)
Ross: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Richard: Its good to see you.
Monica: Its good to see you too.
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Courtney: Okay. You know its gonna happen.
Joey: I should know that. Lets see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
Ross: (to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Richards Date: Impressive.
Rachel: Hey-hey, now hes showing us his poking device.
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Rachel: Huh, thats funny. You look like youre gonna be the
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Monica is vacuuming.]
Phoebe: Wheres Chandler?
Phoebe: No, but lets come back to that later!
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Ross: Im sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebodys off the phone, how bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Chloe: Oh no. I feel it isnt really anybodys business, y'know.
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
Chandler: Hmmm, thats very cool.
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Ross: Oh, come on, you know its a girl!
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Leslie: Wow, thats great.
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Ginger: Whats that?
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Monica: Wheres that?
Joey: So Pheebs whats this guy like?