words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Frank: I know a guy whos the 18th.
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know shes too international, y'know shes never gonna be around.
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, cause thats why you wont get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Frank: (starts laughing) Wow! Thats wild! No, I had no idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Ross: Hey, its my list.
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! Whats going on?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Isabella: Its laminated!
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Mona: No-no thats a mans shirt.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Ross: Heres your girlfriends button. (Holding the button.)
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Chandler: Its a dog.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Student: Yeah, its the new building on Avenue A.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Mona's Date: Its awfully pink. (Ross mouths, "Its salmon!")
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Parker: Im sorry thats who I am. Im a positive person.
Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Ross: Right. Okay, lets play. Lets go.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Monica: Whos David Lynn?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, lets just do that.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Rachel: Uh! Its horrible!
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Aunt Lisa: So, hows married life treating you?
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Chandler: Thats great.
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Monica: Shes still mad.
Rachel: No-no, its really not huge.
Doug: BingWhats this?! (Grabs his hand.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
Woman: Its a diaper genie.
Woman: Its actually a bassinet.
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Its not looking good.
Phoebe: No, its positive.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]