words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Frank: I know a guy whos the 18th.
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know shes too international, y'know shes never gonna be around.
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, cause thats why you wont get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Frank: (starts laughing) Wow! Thats wild! No, I had no idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Ross: Hey, its my list.
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! Whats going on?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Isabella: Its laminated!
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
The Fireman: Theres a reset button under the plastic cover.
Joey: Thats kinda hot.
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Chandler: And theres daddy!
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
Chandler: Thats Mr. Girabaldi playing the piano.
Chandler: Hes coming into the audience. Hes coming into the audience.
Phoebe: Thats great Joe!
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Helena: So whats your name?
Helena: Its raining men!
Policeman: Thats right.
Rachel: Its a different guy!
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
Monica: Thats much better.
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Chandler: Whats up?
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel walks up the stairs and knocks on Joeys door.]
Rachel: So Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: All right, it wont go down any further. Its stuck.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Phoebe: Okay. Well theres one down.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Monica: Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after shes done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila.
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Rachel: Lets go to lunch.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
The Director: Lets reset.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
The Director: Lets take it from there.
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Rachel: Yeah, we got him back. Everythings fine.
{Transcribers Note: Tradition was broken here as there were no commercials immediately after the opening credits, just more show.}
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Joey: Oh. (Laughs.) No! No wait, thats weird!
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Phoebe (walking to Ross carrying a black leather jacket): Hey, check this out! It’s totally you!
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: Shes right there.
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Rachel: Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Mr. Kaplan: (entering) Hows that coffee comin, dear?
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
Chandler: Oh you wouldnt uh, care. Its just a stupid comic book story.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Chandler: Sure. Ummm. Whats up?
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
Ross: Rach, hes not an ex-con.
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, its like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, lets trade!
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
David: Hes gone. Hes
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Ross: Monicas pregnant!
Phoebe: (in a soothing voice) Great, lets begin. (She starts the massage.) Hows the pressure?
Chandler: Whos the father?
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Monica: All right then, when Im done with this place, its gonna be ten times better than that place!
Monica: Whats the matter?
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Leader: All right girls, and man. Lets see your final tallies. (all the girls raise their hands) Ohhhh, Debbie, (looks at her form) 321 boxes of cookies, (to Debbie) Very nice.