words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Frank: I know a guy whos the 18th.
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know shes too international, y'know shes never gonna be around.
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, cause thats why you wont get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Frank: (starts laughing) Wow! Thats wild! No, I had no idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Ross: Hey, its my list.
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! Whats going on?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Isabella: Its laminated!
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
Joey: Its All Relative.
Phoebe: Whats block?
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Written by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is arriving, late.]
Ross: Besides, theres a big age difference.
Phoebe: Oh no, let her stay out there. Its sweet.
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Joey: Well, theres really only one thing you can do.
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Rachel: All right, lets do it.
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Ross: Monicas right. Were talking about getting married here. Okay? She-she cant just rush into this.
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Joey: All right look, Ross, hes right. Emilys great, shes great! But this way too soon, youre only gonna scare her!
Joey: Whats up?
Joey: Whos Elaine?
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Joey: Nah, Im too depressed to eat. Ill probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess Ill just fly home with you guys, what times your flight?
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Its like my chance to give something back to the acting community.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Joey: Hes fine!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Tim: Whats
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
Monica: Umm, well, hes
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
(Theres a loud knocking.)
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Rachel: Oooohh thats interesting.
Kathy: (sees its Joey) Oh.
Joey: So, were walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, Hey, lets go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes, remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, Nah, lets just hang out at your place. Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.
(After hes gone.)
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Rachel: Ohh! Thats great!
Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and its not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.
Monica: I dont know exactly. Its-its sorta like wrestling.
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, thats right, the keyboards, huh?
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Rachel: Theres nobody here!
Monica: No honey, Im sorry, but the weekends not over yet.
Sophie: Shes not making me uncomfortable.
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Ross: Theres other stuff too.
Ross: Its not like we dont know how to party!!
Joey: Yeah! All right? Lets go!
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
Ross: (looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.
Ross: Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?