words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Frank: I know a guy whos the 18th.
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know shes too international, y'know shes never gonna be around.
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody whos gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, cause thats why you wont get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Frank: (starts laughing) Wow! Thats wild! No, I had no idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Ross: Hey, its my list.
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! Whats going on?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Isabella: Its laminated!
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
The Director: Hey Joey, were ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex hes going to be playing your son.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no dont say but! No-no, buts never good! Lets just leave it at, you like me and I like you.
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
[Cut to Joey and Janines.]
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Rachel: So were okay, were okay, were okay, (starts to exam Ben) arent we? No, were not okay, were not okay, theres a bump, theres a bump.
Joey: Shes a woman!
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Rachel: Oh my god. Ok you guys, theres Danny. Watch. Just watch this. (He walks past the couch to the counter.) See?! Still pretending hes not interested. Ohh, hes coming over. Just pretend like we dont know him. Weve forgotten who he is.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
Tour Guide: Thats just the way it is.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
The Acting Teacher: All right, lets start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
Chandler: Op, y'know what though, its kindve a girlie briefcase.
Ross: Thats all Im askin
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Actually its more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.)
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Oh, thats veryReally very-very okay.
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Chandler: No. When it comes to sweets, hes surprisingly strict.
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
Chandler: Oh my God! Someones killed Square Man!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Kate: Well, Adrians looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor cant just kiss her, hes gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
Joey: Will you calm down, hes just a human guy.
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Pete: Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. Whats the thing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
C.H.E.E.S.E.: The shipment never made it through Omaha?
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
Joey: No, no, no! Its real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! Im up for a Soapie!
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Joey: Because, I know what I like and what I dont like! Its not the same thing!
Rachel: Hi! All right, lets go shoppin!!
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Ross: Ehh, I dont, I dont think so. Shes already talked about yknow, dating other guys.
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Phoebe: My little brothers getting married!!
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
Joey: Oh, heres where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Pete: Y'know what, dont be. This is not, dont be, cause its not so bad.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Chandler: Well shes, shes the kinda girlJoey was unconscious.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.