words in movies
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
Dr. Franzblau: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?
Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Chandler: Well, she's just so much fun with Joey, I just assumed, she'd still be living with him.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.
Joey: Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa.
Lydia: She's not much of a phone person.
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
Ross: Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era.
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand walks away from the window.)
Chandler: Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.
Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)
Carol: Yes, and she's very supportive.
Ross: What? She's gonna eat all those cookies?
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Rachel: For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes.
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
(She's getting closer to him, the scene fades to black.)
Monica: I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met.
Rachel: Oh gosh, she's going to kill me.
Joey: Uhh, well, she's really good in bed.
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
Ross: Rach, she's not going to remember this.
DR. BURKE: Ya know, she's having another baby.
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Ross: Now she's passed.
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Ross: Nono, she's gone.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
Joey: C'mon, she's your mom!
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
Chandler: (Picks up the "Miss Congeniality" DVD) She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant.
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Phoebe: (Automatically) Yeah. Oooh... (she's sprung.)
Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
Monica: So she's a woman! So what?
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!
Joey: Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second.
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Teacher: She's your partner.
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: She's still asleep.
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Ross: Monica's crying. She's very upset about this whole Clunkers thing.
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
(After she's left, Ross gets really happy and starts kissing the card. Suddenly, she returns.)
Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Rachel: Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)
RACHEL: She's still with you?
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?