words in movies
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Ross: I dont know, she seemed to think it was such a crazy idea! Um, plus, she, uh, she got me taffy!
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Mona: Seriously, what is she doing?
Ross: Uh lately, she just likes hanging out here.
Ross: I think shes lonely.
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Mona: Oh, my God! She has food delivered here?
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
Ross: And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why dont you, uh, open the champagne, and Ill be right back. Ive got a surprise for you.
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Ross: Shes not a Tribbiani?
Ross: I knew it. So, is she someone from work?
Ross: Well, uh, does she like you?
Joey: Sometimes I think maybe she could. But it doesnt matter, because I cant do anything about it.
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Rachel: (thinking) Hmm maybe it starts with how she gets pregnant.
Joey: Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us?
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
CHANDLER: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) No listen to me! She is crazy!
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Rachel: Oh! See just Im right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks! (She sits down heavily in one of the new chairs)
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Rachel: Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying)
(Kathy leans in really close and Chandler mouths "Oh my God." She moves around in front of him and kneels at his feet.)
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didnt understand the question.
Phoebe: Yes, she jumped right back up.
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Phoebe: Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Rachel: Yeah thats right you werent thinking! Yknow what? Let me give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.)
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Rachel: Oh-oh! Okay, shes kicking!
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Missy: Right. I'll be there. (she leaves)
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)
Joey: Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Rachel: Well, yknow, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that couldve meant.)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Ross: Thank you. (She walks off) C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? (Marcel runs off) Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Monica: Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didnt cry. She wasnt angry or sad. (Sits down, slightly disgusted.)
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Rachel: Yeah, oh wait! (She goes for another one.)
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Joey: Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious (which, being Joey, he mispronounces "amonious"). (pause) That's not how she used it...?
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the smoke detectors wail.]
(She heads for the kitchen door and just after she goes through the door )
(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Emily: Right, Ive got to be off, Ill see ya. Buh-bye then. (She leaves.)
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Whos she?
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Missy: Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band)
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
ROSS: Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Rachel: Well, yknow what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, Ill ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.