words in movies
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Eric: She, now I knew that and now Im sweating. Look at me, Im really sweatingNow Im saying, "Look at me," Im getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go.
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
Eric: Shes helped so many people to quit smoking.
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Eric: She told me she was 25.
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!
Rachel: No. No, she told me his name was Ken Adams.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Frank: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
MRS. WALLACE: Is she gonna be all right?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Joey: Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us?
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
CHANDLER: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) No listen to me! She is crazy!
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Rachel: Oh! See just Im right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks! (She sits down heavily in one of the new chairs)
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Rachel: Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying)
(Kathy leans in really close and Chandler mouths "Oh my God." She moves around in front of him and kneels at his feet.)
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didnt understand the question.
Phoebe: Yes, she jumped right back up.
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Phoebe: Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Rachel: Yeah thats right you werent thinking! Yknow what? Let me give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.)
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Rachel: Oh-oh! Okay, shes kicking!
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Missy: Right. I'll be there. (she leaves)
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)
Joey: Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Rachel: Well, yknow, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that couldve meant.)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Ross: Thank you. (She walks off) C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? (Marcel runs off) Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Monica: Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didnt cry. She wasnt angry or sad. (Sits down, slightly disgusted.)
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Rachel: Yeah, oh wait! (She goes for another one.)
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Joey: Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious (which, being Joey, he mispronounces "amonious"). (pause) That's not how she used it...?
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the smoke detectors wail.]
(She heads for the kitchen door and just after she goes through the door )
(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Emily: Right, Ive got to be off, Ill see ya. Buh-bye then. (She leaves.)
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Whos she?