words in movies
[Scene: Monica's restaurant, she is getting inspected by the health department, Phoebe is watching.]
Phoebe: Okay. (She laughs harder.)
(She heads for the kitchen door and just after she goes through the door )
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Phoebe: He's so funny! (She imitates what he just did.)
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
(He leaves and she closes the door.)
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Monica: (upon seeing Rachel she points) Oh.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
Joey: Maybe she killed him?
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of coffee.)
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat?
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Ross: She is a kook.
PHOEBE: She wants to meet you in person.
Phoebe: Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Joey: (grabs the window from the outside and sticks his head in) (whispering) When is she leaving?
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
(She runs over and gives him a very passionate kiss.)
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: Okay. (She goes into her bedroom)
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Rachel: I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Phoebe: Oh this, well Im glad you asked. (She opens the case and removes a knife and an soda can.) Now, dont you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? (She efficiently cuts it in half.) Ahh! Now, I know what youre thinking
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
CHANDLER: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
CHANDLER: Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes.
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
(Chandler tries to take it, but Monica wont let go. He tugs harder, and she still doesnt budge.)
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Monica: Oh, whatd ya bring me?! (She opens the gift) Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee?
Rachel: Sure, is she married?
Monica: Were really sorry, but um, she did ask us first.
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
(She kisses him on the cheek)
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
ERICA: Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh?
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army...
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just � she loves it when I'm dramatic.
Monica: Why? (She hops into the living room and imitates Chandler's happy dance.)
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing?
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Rachel: Okay! All right! How was she?
Chandler: I can't believe her! Did she tell you we were having money problems?
Ross: N-no! Okay? Weve been through this! Were not gonna get married just because shes pregnant, okay?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)