words in movies
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Phoebe: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I dont know where his country is.
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Phoebe: Umm, well hes very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesnt speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Chloe: Hi guys. I havent seen you since this morning.
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
Phoebe: Hey, dont call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!
Joey: Dude, I dont know.
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Ross: Well you said you couldnt go out so.... (pulls the cover off of the basket)
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Ross: Okay, you dont have to stop, Im invisible, Im not here. (lights a candle)
Rachel: But I dont, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
Rachel: Ross youre not listening to me, I dont have time to stop.
Ross: Come on Rach, you dont have what, ten minutes?
Rachel: I dont have ten minutes!!
Rachel: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I dont!
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
Rachel: But I told you, I didnt have the time!
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Phoebe: You didnt say Boutros Boutros Gali.
Phoebe: Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I havent been able to say two words to each other.
Mark: Hi. Well, look, I was just gonna leave a message, isnt tonight your, your big anniversary dinner?
Ross: Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, dont I have to wait a while?
Chandler: Hey, this isnt like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Ross: Really? Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Chloe: Hey, you dont have to smile. You just have to dance.
Ross: Look, I dont feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you dont accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Phoebe: Excuse me, but umm, isnt he paying for your dinner?
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Chloe: Well, youre practically dancing already. Why dont you just do it over here?
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Well, maybe you dont marry this one.
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: Well, dont get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
Ross: I dont know. A month?
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Chandler: I cant believe I did this! What an idiot!
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Joey: I dont know why you just dont say left.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Chip: Amy Welch? Wow! I havent seen her since... So, Monica about ready?
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! Thats not fair! Yknow I cant resist that beautiful voice!
Monica: No, dont say it! Dont even think it!
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Phoebe: Oh, I-I dont eat meat.
Rachel: I dont know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just dont want to be 30 and still work here.
Rachel: All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!
Ross: I cant believe he didnt come!
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Wayne: Dont touch him!
Monica: Oh my God Stu! I-I cant believe you did this! Now are you absolutely sure shes a hooker?
Chandler: Well, you dont look good Joe.
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didnt I?
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
Phoebe: If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?
Phoebe: Dont even get me started on yours!
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont have anyone right now. Yknow?
Rachel: I dont care! The wires have come loose in your head!
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Monica: I know, it is isnt it?
Rachel: Isnt that a kind of sushi?
Elizabeth: Okay. I didnt know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.)
Joey: Doctor? Wow! I didnt know he had a nickname.
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
Ross: I cant think of anything.
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Paul: Oh, I couldnt eat now.
Rachel: No you dont!
Chandler: Oh, I cant go.
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Frank: How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesnt melt.
Chandler: I cant do that.
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Ross: Yeah, you didnt get one.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Ross: I dont know.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Chandler: Chicks dont swim.
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
Ross: How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s.
Rachel: Okay fine, I did. But I didnt see anything, I swear.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Rachel: Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldnt. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!