words in movies
Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom wont boo you.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Parker: Why dont all of you tell me a little about your self?
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Woman: We were surprise that we werent invited.
Rachel: On a cliff, in Barbados, at sunset, and Stevie Wonder sang Isnt She Lovely as I walked down the aisle.
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Parker: I wont quit until you try.
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Rachel: Well, I dont know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel.
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Mr. Geller: (looking at the picture) Why dont I remember this dog?
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
Parker: Isnt this the most incredible fight youve ever had in your entire life?
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you dont want to do that, then youre gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Chandler: If that doesnt keep kids in school, what will?
Rachel: Well, why didnt you just take a cab?
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Arthur: (To another coworker) Call security. (To Phoebe) Pheebs, didnt you get fired?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Rachel: Oh no, I cant. I got a date.
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Emily: I wish I didnt have to go.
Rachel: And so bad. I dont even know what youre talking about because I didnt ask you to do anything!
Ken: I�m sorry, but isn�t your wife back in New York?
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Ross: Oh, but-but I cant do it.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
Monica: Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you cant like it.
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldnt take it.
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Ross: Exactly. So you didnt, didnt mention anything to Issac right?
Phoebe: Oh Rachel, this is all so Papa dont preach.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, I dont know. I mean its not like we dont have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Monica: Excuse me? He doesnt even know what hes doing!
Monica: What? You freak! You wouldnt even have known about this place if it wasnt for me!
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven�t been together the six of us in such a long time.
Chandler: (pause) I dont have your boots.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Joey: Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jos manuscript. I dont see how he could ever forgive her.
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I cant eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Jessica Lockhart: Whats the matter Dina? Dont you recognize your own (Does a hair flip) mother?!
Monica: I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt even thinking about that.
Chandler: You see, I dont say(Starts laughing.)
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! Theres a lot of theories that didnt pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Joey: Well, theres gonna be strippers there. He didnt say anything about no strippers.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I dont like you!! (leaves)
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Chandler: I cant seem to say goodbye.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
Mr. Simon: Why wasnt I offered that? Id definitely pay more for that.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.