words in movies
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.)
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
Monica: You slept with her didnt you?
Phoebe: Oooh look! Isnt this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine!
Joey: No! You dont want to wreck it, you dont want to go to fast!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Emily: Dont do this to me, again. Youd know Id stay here in a minute, but Id really miss so much work, theyll fire me.
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Rachel: But yknow umm, Rachel doesnt rhyme with draddle.
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: Oh sorry didnt mean to interrupt. Its just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: (laughs) You dont-you dont want to hear about my dream Officer Pretty?
Alice: Absolutely. Okay, first well start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesnt work we can go back to
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Monica: Cause I dont want to encourage this kind of behaviour.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
Monica: Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? Cause I dont think you have to wear it unless you are!
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Rachel: Well-well, I dont know Rossreally?
Kim: You didnt cancel the fabric order from Taiwan?
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Rachel: No you dont know why!
Phoebe: Boy! I didnt see that coming!
Joey: You cant do anything!
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
Chandler: They dont really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though.
Rachel: You dont even have cats.
Monica: Heres Frannie. Hmm, wont she be happy to see me? (Starts to get up and great Frannie.)
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Joey: (simultaneously) Oh my God!!! I cant believe that!!
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Mark: Hi. Well, look, I was just gonna leave a message, isnt tonight your, your big anniversary dinner?
Monica: I swear I didnt know she was a hooker! I mean whDid you let her smoke in here?
Ross: I just didnt see the fast song coming.
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Joey: Oh-no, dont try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.
Phoebe: Come on Joey, dont make me feel badly about this.
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Monica: Okay, Im next. (Phoebe starts another game.) Dont! Dont start another game! I said Im next! Phoebe!
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
Jill: Yeah but it wasnt for me, it was for a friend.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Rachel: Ugh, Monica I dont want to steal your stupid thunder!
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesnt look anything like that guy. Hes-hes young and hes got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
Chandler: Arent you just a tinsy bit curious?
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
Ross: Look lets not make a big deal out of this! It was a one time thing. It doesnt even matter!
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!