words in movies
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
(The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath.)
Bonnie: Cool! Ill catch up! (She takes off her sweater.)
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Monica: Yeah. (She takes them off.)
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it off his hand and throws it behind the night-stand.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you very much! (She grabs a glass, takes a sip, and realizes what she just did. She then tries to spit the champagne back into the glass without Monica noticing. It doesnt work.) Oh thats-thats actually how the French drink it.
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
(He goes up on stage, mimes like he's giving the speech, and Chandler takes his picture. However, before he gets down everyone starts clinking their glasses for a real speech.)
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Ross: (he takes a baby blue beret out of a shopping box and puts it on) How does this look?
Chandler: I know, I can do this. (He takes her hand.)
Pete: Oh, youre welcome. (He takes a deep breath)
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
(Phoebe takes a bite and spits it out and screams.)
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Phoebe: (she takes the bowl from Rachel's hands and she starts running around the room and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH!
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
[Monica takes a bigger spoonful and a pea falls off]
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)
Chandler: All right. (Takes a copy.)
Sarah: They are delicious (takes a few from the plate, puts one in her mouth and places the rest on her plate, then starts to reach over to Joey's platter again)
Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter)
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Phoebe: Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
[Everyone takes a bite of their trifle.]
PHOEBE: All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.)� Hello?� Hi.� I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
Rachel: Im talking about a bet, winner takes all.
Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)
Joey: All right, watch me! (he takes a full container of milk from the fridge) Okay, you time me. Ready?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Janine: (She takes his hands) 3, 2, 1. (She kisses him) Happy New Year.
Ross: This is not good for my rage. (Takes another pill.)
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Joey: Oh (grinning, trying to hold in his impatience with her) okay.. (she takes her hand back)
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
Rachel: Give it here. (She takes the table.) Oh, God. (And gives it to Monica right away.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
[Ross leaves to find Karl. Rachel takes a peek under the loincloth of one of the display models.]
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
Rachel: (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
[Everyone takes a step back from Phoebe]
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Joey: oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours. (Sarah reaches over and takes a few fries)
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.)
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Courtney: Thisll be five/ten takes.
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Joey: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
MICH: Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you."