words in movies
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Ross: Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Kristen: Oh Id like that.
Phoebe: Ooh, is that spelled with a C or a K? Oh my God! It doesnt matter; theyre both great!
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
Kristen: Ill remember that.
Kristen: You look strong, why dont I take that and you grab one of the boxes.
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Ross: Thats interesting, but check this out. I date her
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Joey: (smiling) That sounds fair.
Ross: Maybe Ill take her to that new French restaurant down the street
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
Phoebe: (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Ross: Thats right.
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Ross: Thats right! Thats right, dont you play a woman?
Ross: Thats right! Wait no, Ben.
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
Chandler: Oh you got a wedding dress? Thats great!
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
(They all slowly turn around to reveal that they are giving themselves a facial.)
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
JOEY: But don't you need experience for a job like that?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
Monica: Is that all?
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Chandler: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt hear that.
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
Rachel: Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Ross: Is that Mark?
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Phoebe: Thats weird.
Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.
Joey: And thats every month?
Joanna: No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.
Phoebe: Its not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
PHOEBE: I know.� That was fun.� (She and Mike exit.)
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Emily: Well thats ambitious.
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Chandler: What is so funny about that? (they realise it wasn't a joke)
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment! Convince her that youre a little coward!
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
Rachel: I didnt I never said that.
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
Phoebe: Okay, so how do we decide that?
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Phoebe: Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard!
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Ross: Good! Thats good!
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
Rachel: (laughing) What was that?
Rachel: (proud of her self) I almost caught that one!
PHOEBE: No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
Ross: well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Joanna: I know that.
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably shouldve told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg.
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Rachel: Aww Pheebs, that sucks!
Rachel: What was that?
JOEY: Monica, pigeons learn faster that you.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Margha: Im sorry, Joey, that is my chose.
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
EDDIE: I heard that.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
PHOEBE: See, I didn't know that.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Rachel: Can I see that for second.
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.