words in movies
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Joey: That... never happens...
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Joey: You really should have been more clear about that!
(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Chandler: That would be advice!!
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Charlie: I didn't do that.
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that?
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
David: But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end...
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous!
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Monica: I'm not always that bad!
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other?
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Monica: Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table!
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Ross: I knew that was him!
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Monica: It's that terrible?
Guy: No, you, you cant fit in that thing. Thats not deep enough.
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Rachel: (looks touched) Joey, you never..you never talked about that before...
Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Woman: What does that mean?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Monica: Wha... How the hell is that gonna help?
Phoebe: Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself.
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Rachel: Im not here! Thats just my Chinese food!
Monica: I heard that!
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
MNCA: Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story?
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Chandler: Oh thats great, with my luck, thats gonna be him.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
Joey: Oh, yoii. What was that for?
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
JULIE: That saves us a conversation.
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Ross: Thats excellent.
Janine: Yeah, thats what I said.
Monica: That was me.
Ross: Thats okay.
Monica: Thats okay.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, what brought that on?
All: Oh thatd be great. Sure!
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Chandler: No, no, no, you say that proudly.
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Rachel: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Ross: I would never do that!
Mark: Wh-what's that?
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
PHOEBE: Come on, like you never talk that.