words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
Joey: Hey, you know about that?!
Rachel: Amazingly, that makes sense.
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Monica: That is never good.
Rachel: Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Rachel: G.I. Joe? Do you really think he's gonna fall for that?
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
Phoebe: Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent.
Joey: They actually said that?
Phoebe: Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Monica: Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?
Danny: Stop saying that. I hate that.
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
ROSS: Wow!� (pause)� Wow, You look . . . uh . . .�� It's just, ah . . .�� That dress . . . uh . . .�
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe hes gonna tell you that hes gay?
Ross: Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
MONICA: That would be the work of a Blowfish.
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Ross: That cup is mine!
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Rachel: Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Chandler: Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: That is amazing.
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Monica: How do you do that?
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Phoebe: No, look, don't touch that!
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
Girl: Really? You don't know what that means to me.
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.