words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Joey: Okay, the last thing
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
Monica: Yeah! And the winner gets a hundred bucks.
Joey: No! All right, who-who makes up the questions?
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
Dr. Zane: Okay, itll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Alice: Umm, it costs $16,000 each time you do this. So, umm, were kinda using all the money we have to do it just this one time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is about to begin.]
Ross: The test is ready.
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
(Ross flips the coin again.)
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!
Joey: (answering the question) Althea!
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Ross: Im afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (To the embryos) Good luck.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
The Girls: Yes!!
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: Thirty seconds, all the questions you can answer.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Throw in the duck too!
Joey: What do you have against the duck?! He doesnt make any noise!
Rachel: Well, he gets the other one all riled up.
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
(The girls are stumped)
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
Joey: Sure I can, standard shotgun rules, Im sight of the room and I called it.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
(Phoebe comes in from the bathroom as Rachel sits down in disgust.)
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, Im gonna do whatever I can to help this so, Im just gonna yknow, lie it your chair, (She climbs into the chair and drapes her feet over the back of the chair.) Y'know? Yeah, good, Im let gravity yknow, do its jobs.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Alice: Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present.
Phoebe: Great. (Goes to take the test.)
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadnt gotten the question wrong!
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Okay, but this cant be good for the baby.
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Joey: Did you see the size of the closets?!
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
Phoebe: (she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Chandler: Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Monica: I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
JOEY: Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his)
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going?
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
Monica: Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Mike: Alright, fine. We'll give the money back.
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride!
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
(She slowly grabs the chains of the swing, swings her hair back, and sits down.)
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.
Chandler: Yes, and I was saying the actual words.
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Phoebe: You're not making the pies yourself?
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Ross: We're still going at the game, right?
(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy!
Ross: You may want to lose the foam finger!
Phoebe: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
[Cut to the hall]
Phoebe: Wait-wait-wait-wait! So, explain something to me though, if, if nobody tagged Rachel, then isnt the play still going.
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
[time lapse – they are still in the hall]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
[cut to the hall]
[cut to the hall]
[cut to the hall]
Phoebe: (panicking) But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way!
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
[Scene: Boarding the plane.]
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Chandler: The cranberries...?
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
(Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom)
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
(Monica takes it and reads the label)