words in movies
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
Monica: Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is likeOh my, this is like my second favorite game!
Monica: Well I-I really dont remember the name of it.
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so .
Rachel: They made you head of the department!
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancingOh! Take her dancing!
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. I didnt hear you over all the winning.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Phoebe: Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it.
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date with Joey as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Ross: which brings us back, of course, to Greelys theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-thats all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
Student: Yeah, its the new building on Avenue A.
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
Joey: Yknow what? Bring her both, and Ill have the same. (The waitress leaves.)
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
Rachel: Come on, just answer the question!
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
(Rachel gets up and heads for the rest room.)
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Chandler: Well Ive been playing it for like eight hours, itll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, theyre dirty words.
Chandler: With the claw?!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Joey: Me too! Hey Rach, can I just say I think this is the best date I ever had!
Joey: I never laughed so hardDid you see the wine come out of my nose?
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Joey: I gotta say, I never knew I could enjoy the non-sex part of the date so much.
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Rachel: I dont know! (Pause) Im-Im kinda thinking it-it was the lobster
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah, the lobster.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. (She gets up, walks towards the bathroom, and Joey watches her go.) Ehhh.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, now its Phoebes turn to erase Chandler from the board.]
Phoebe: Oh hi BenNo!! Dont look at the machine! (Covers the screen.)
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Joey: Oh sure, yeah, why not? (Sits on the arm of the chair.)
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
The "Hey Guy" Guy: Hey guy!
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]
The Hot Girl: I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman.
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Ross: Is-isnt it the best?
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Earl: Phoebe? The lady who sells toner?
(She closes the door and puts his tie into his mouth as a gag.)
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Rachel: (reading the resume) And you were at this job for four years?
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
(Chandler throws the back of Rosita into his apartment and quickly starts pushing the base into his apartment.)
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
(She opens the door.)
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not Elizabeths dad?!
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Rachel: Oh, its the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm hows Monica?
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Ross bursts into the room.]
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
The Hot Girl: No, I-I actually thought it was unfair the way everyone reacted. I mean you had just moved in.
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
Chandler: Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle?
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card!
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
The Woman Dealer: Which guy?
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off...
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Monica: Hes gonna eat the cake!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Phoebe: You did the right thing.
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
Joey: Oh. Why would you scare me like that? What the hell is going on? (Pause.) Is somebody pregnant?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Ross: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Sid: I still cant believe it! Im the luckiest guy in the world!
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.
Chandler: Is this because of the burrito thing?
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
The Director: Cut!
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Earl: Im actually the office manager.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Dr. Harad: Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli. The Fonz.
Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
The Wedding Guest: Oh, I used to work with Frannie.
Ross: Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.
Joey: (bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why.
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Joey: (entering, dancing and singing) Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! (He dances around the dinner table and exits)
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
(The cute guys phone rings.)
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.