words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Phoebe: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I dont know where his country is.
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
(Phoebe puts the globe right up next to her eye to try and find the country.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Chloe: Relax. Its just Issacs D.J.-ing at the Philly. You should come.
Chandler: All right, rock on. (Does the Hang 10 sign, then hides his face in shame.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Joey: Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us?
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
Rachel: (on the phone) No, no, no, Im looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... (listens) What does it matter, what Im wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? (listens) Thank you. (to Sophie) Were holding.
Ross: Well you said you couldnt go out so.... (pulls the cover off of the basket)
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Rachel: But I dont, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Im sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebodys off the phone, how bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again.
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
(Ross starts to pack up the picnic in anger, and throws a three hole punch in the basket.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Rachel: But I told you, I didnt have the time!
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, its the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
Chandler: And thats the only colour that comes in.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
Rachel: (jumping up to answer the phone) Hello!
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Yeah, Im fine.
[Scene: The Philly.]
Chandler: Hey, this isnt like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Mark: Is it okay if I finish the apple juice?
[Cut to The Philly.]
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams the phone down, and walks back to the bar.)
Chloe: Oh, okay. (to the bartender) Hey, two beers. (sits down next to him)
[Scene: The Restaurant, after dinner.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Rachel: (picks up the phone and calls Ross) Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, youre not home.
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
(They start singing, and Phoebe covers her mouth at the American part.)
Sergei: (to the rest of Central Perk) Everybody!! (In his language, and continues.)
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom.
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: We're getting the house. (they hug) We're getting the house.
(Chandler is getting ready to kick off, Ross is holding the ball between his foot and finger.)
Chandler: We got the house.
Monica: Oh my God! My God! We've got the house !?
THE END
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Chandler: Awesome, the name really stands out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Chandler: Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
(the first word is cream)
Chandler: Hey hey! Where's the birthday girl?
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
(the second word is mayonnaise)
Joey: Hey, Im gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! Hed even make the girl pancakes! Plus, hed make extras and leave em for me.
PHOEBE: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
(The third word is ketchup)
Man: It's the police!
(someone knocks at the door)
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
Paul: Really?! (She nods in the affirmative.)
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
SECURITY GUARD: Yeah, and I have a time share in the Pocanos with Flipper.
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
[Scene: The New York City Children's fund ]
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
(Chandler looks at the other two guys, embarrassed)
Ross: You broke the pact!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Rach, I-I cant tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know were never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know its a boy!
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Rachel: (finishing the last of her drink) I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow.
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? Im Dr. Schiff. (By the way, hes an attractive man.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...
Joey: Well, I know what's the matter with me.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
THE END
Janine: Well, Im sorry. I just thought Id try to make the place a little nicer.
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"
[Scene: The wedding rehearsal dinner.]
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
Gene: I'll take "You crossed the line".
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their easy chair.]
The Librarian: Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift.
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Chandler: Im just trying to find the right moment, you know?