words in movies
Rachel: I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
Joey: Right!(he starts to ape her)"Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor?" (he inclines his head as if to look at a man's private parts)
Monica: So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks?
Monica: Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month!
Phoebe: Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips!
Phoebe: Oh, good!Ok, good for you!Try to recapture the magic!
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!!
Rachel: Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?
Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Joey: Well, at the Christmas party him and Santa did some definitely gay stuff!
(the scene starts.Joey enters and there's a girl wearing a wedding dress near a bed)
Joey/Drake: Stopping you from marrying the wrong man and making the biggest mistake of your life.
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
(the actress slaps him)
Rachel: (watching a television where the scene is shown, startled) OH!
Joey/Drake: Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?
Joey/Drake: Yes, you do.Yes...you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I...because I can't stop loving you.
2nd Customer: It was. The duck in particular was superb.
Monica: Thank you!(she looks at the 3rd customer waiting for a compliment) You haven't said anything...
3rd Customer: The musician right outside the restaurant...it's kind of a mood-killer!
[Scene: Outside the restaurant]
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
Phoebe: (with a fancy dress, still playing and singing): It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh?
[Scene: hall of the romantic inn in Vermont]
Receptionist: Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from?
Ross: (in a strange voice and eating candies) The big apple!
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?
Chandler: Just give us the cheapest room you have.
Receptionist: Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars.
Ross: Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves.
Ross: C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time!
Ross: I think it's the sugar, could you hold the apple?
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
Joey: Right... (pause) ok, so just from the top of the page, right here.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
(Chandler enters the room)
Ross: Nice, put it with the others.
Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!
Chandler: I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that.
Chandler: Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control)?
Ross: No, no, no, you can't take the remote control!
Chandler: Yes, but the batteries...
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the sofa]
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Rachel: Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream...
Rachel: You took the same class twice.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Rachel: Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work...
Phoebe: Yeah well, "excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but (peering through her spectacles) I can't see it, I can't see it"!
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
Phoebe: What are people having, the garlic Martini?
Receptionist: Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay.
(the receptions is puzzled. She goes in the back.)
Chandler: Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax.
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Ross: There's something new in the bowl.
Ross: No, but I want...I want the pinecones!
Ross: It's not the same.
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Ross: (to the receptionist) Thank you for a delightful stay.
(he picks up the suitcase, which falls open, revealing all the stuff they have taken from the hotel. The receptionist just looks at them.)
Phoebe: (singing) Food here at 'Javu'..will kill you..the food here at 'Javu' ...will kill you..
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.
Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Phoebe: Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky?
Monica: Ok who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretention never hurt anyone? (a few raise their hands)
Phoebe: Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? (all raise their hands).
Phoebe: (smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Joey: (Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
Joey: (excited) Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! (leaves Rachel very touched on the couch and goes into his room)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartement, Monica is at the kitchen table writing something and Chandler enters kitchen area]
Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)
Monica: (without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird...it's empty!
Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Chandler: Honey, its not the bath I enjoy, its the wet, naked lady.
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
PHOE: [seeing Ross kissing Julie outside the window] Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look.
Chip: The what?
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Phoebe: We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code!
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Chip: The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time.
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Chandler: Okay, now lets decide who has the nicest ass.
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Rachel: Joey, just ignore the boats all right? Were not finished with the lesson yet.
Ross: All right. (reading the label) Candy and Cookie?
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is about to begin.]
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
Monica: Why would the little girl creep you out?
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
[Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
Missy: Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours!
Phoebe: And! Whoever finds it wins the prize!
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
The Casting Director: Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
FBOB: So the light went out in my refrigerator...
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
[cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Petes]
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
PHOE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting.
Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
[cut to the girls huddle]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...
Rachel: Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back!
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
The Salesman: And?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Strange man: (he bounds into the house) I knew you'd be here!
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
MONICA: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
Rachel: The burping clogs?
Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best.
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
MRS. GREENE: ...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Joey: In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Blackjack Dealer: Changing one hundred! (Gives him the change.) Good luck sir.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]