words in movies
Joey: Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.
Chandler: Whats the matter honey?
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Rachel: Yeah, so lets get started on the wedding plans!
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Monica: (returning) Okay! (Sets down a huge 3" 3-ring binder on the table.)
Ross: Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Monica: All right umm, a string quartet for the procession.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
Joey: Well, the duck
Rachel: What?! The duck?! What the hell did the damn duck do now?!
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Chandler: Definitely roses. (Monica and Rachel exchange a look.) Well, I just think theyre a little more weddingy. (Monica holds the Lily picture closer to him.) But Lilies are the clear choice.
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: Now Joey, what did the duck do?!
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
(They go into the hall.)
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Monica: What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund dont you?
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
[Scene: A Restaurant, scene continued from before the break.]
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Rachel: Do you even understand what off the rack means?!
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Chandler: Well, youre not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Phoebe: (reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.
Monica: This is the most special day of our lives.
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?
Ross: Hey, yknow what? This is your fault! Youre the one that didnt move his-his appointment.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Monica: Oh, youre so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: The vicar!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Joey: This body? (He backs into the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says )
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean yknow, emotionally, mentally, physically
(The intercom buzzes.)
Hold Voice: Please stay on the line. Youre call is very important to us.
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
[Scene: A Theatre, Joey is arriving to rehearse the play hes in.]
Rachel: Youre so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Charity guy: Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together.
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
(The guy turns round, startled. Monica points to Phoebe. The guy gets hit by a truck)
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
(Monica opens the door.)
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Frank: Oh, well just probably the worst one since Ive been alive.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Krista: (calling from the bathroom) Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
Manny: Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
Phoebe: What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Chandler: Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
[cut to the gang, theyre all stunned]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Chandler: So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
The Man: (from earlier) Candy Lady?
Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
Leader: All right girls, and man. Lets see your final tallies. (all the girls raise their hands) Ohhhh, Debbie, (looks at her form) 321 boxes of cookies, (to Debbie) Very nice.
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Joey: No, the quiet down thing!
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
All: All right. Okay. I'm starving! (They all get up, thus officially ending the game.)
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, were not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
Joey: (looks at the time) Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner.
Rachel: I Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
Monica: Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.
PHOEBE: You know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.
JOEY: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Phoebe: Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
(A wave crashes on the beach and partially fills up his hole.)
Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts!
[Scene: Out in the hall, the firemen are talking.]
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.
Rachel: Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!! (Laughs and finishes her drink.)
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!