words in movies
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Joey: Hey-hey, check out the hat!
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Monica: Seriously, where did you get the hat?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Phoebe: (at the door) Knock, knock, knock.
Phoebe: No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. (hands her the picture) Lily, from high school. Remember?
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
The Guys: Yeah!
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Ross: Okay, (reading the card) Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool points. Yeah.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
The Girls: Woo-hooooo!!!!
[cut to later in the game]
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Rachel: (getting up) All right, Im gonna make more margaritas! (She pours the rest of the pitcher into Rosss glass.)
Monica: Chasing him all around the room?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Bonnie: Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Ross: (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.
[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]
Bonnie: Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off.
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Joey: Whats the matter, Pheebs?
(She exits just as Bonnie comes down the stairs, as bald as Michael Jordan.)
Ross: Okay. (He gently touches it.) You can feel all the bones in your skull.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Ross: You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head! What the hell were you thinking?!!
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Bonnie: You guys, the waters great. You should really go in.
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: (entering the bedroom) Hi. (closes the door)
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Danny's Sister: (opening the door) Oh, I thought I heard you.
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
(Chandler heads toward the stairs, but makes a turn back to his apartment while looking at the ticket.)
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are in the kitchen.]
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.
Joey: Had the beef-tips, huh?
Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
Rachel: Hm-mmm! (Opens the container)
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
(Joey starts humming Here Come the Bride.)
Hitchhiker: Wait! Wait! There is the train station!
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
CHANDLER: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
Donny: Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator.
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
The Security Guard: What?!
[cut to Ross in Vermont, talking on the phone.]
Ross: Cookies and porn, youre the best mom ever!!
Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Ross: But it absolutely didnt. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didnt!! It didnt!!
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Rachel: This is easy...Can't do this! (Moves away...and finds her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer) Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. (Fiddles more)
Tommy: What is in the cup?!
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
CHANDLER: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
Kate: It doesnt say that in the script.
Monica: Okay. No need to panic. Deep breathes everyone. Okay umm uh, were just gonna have to spend some time and put the CDs in the right cases.
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
The Teacher: What do you think? You in the blue shirt.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is still ringing her bell. A guy puts some change into the bucket.]
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
The Dry Cleaner: Thats right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Chandler: You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Ross: Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.
Emily: Im just going to say hi to the lads. All right?
Phoebe: Oh hi BenNo!! Dont look at the machine! (Covers the screen.)
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Joey: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
Chandler: Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate and Joey are rehearsing the same scene as before.]
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.
Stanley: Eh, worth a shot. (Gets into his car.) Look Joey, let me know where you're staying, okay? (The car peels away.)
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Joshua: Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce.
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Phoebe: Come on Mon, let her throw the ball.