words in movies
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Joey: Hey-hey, check out the hat!
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Monica: Seriously, where did you get the hat?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Phoebe: (at the door) Knock, knock, knock.
Phoebe: No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. (hands her the picture) Lily, from high school. Remember?
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
The Guys: Yeah!
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Ross: Okay, (reading the card) Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool points. Yeah.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
The Girls: Woo-hooooo!!!!
[cut to later in the game]
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Rachel: (getting up) All right, Im gonna make more margaritas! (She pours the rest of the pitcher into Rosss glass.)
Monica: Chasing him all around the room?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Bonnie: Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Ross: (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.
[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]
Bonnie: Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off.
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Joey: Whats the matter, Pheebs?
(She exits just as Bonnie comes down the stairs, as bald as Michael Jordan.)
Ross: Okay. (He gently touches it.) You can feel all the bones in your skull.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Ross: You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head! What the hell were you thinking?!!
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Bonnie: You guys, the waters great. You should really go in.
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: (entering the bedroom) Hi. (closes the door)
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
Chandler: You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets!
Monica: Yeah? The work problem?
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
Phoebe: ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Chandler: Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn star!
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Rachel: Yeah. (She goes out to join her in the hall and starts looking for the dropped socks.)
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
(They enter the dry cleaners.)
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the chick and the duck are watching Emeril Live, a cooking show.]
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Monica: Or Spin the Bottle?
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. IWhat? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Chandler: Okay, you ready for the last picture?
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
The Woman: Im Megan Bailey.
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
The Salesman: Actually its, Vatican City. Now ahh, what do you know about vulcanised rubber?
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Monica: The good stuff, huh?
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
Rachel: No, I know, but Ihe just went on. He's right there, he's got the blue jacket on, I... can I j-just...
Brenda: Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch.
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing?
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel have just gotten another wedding present.]
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"?
Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.
(They all go into the hallway.)
Rachel: Ross, we actually watched the documentary together.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
Rachel: Youre lookin at it upside downyknow what? (Grabs the evaluation and throws it out.) It doesnt matter.
(Cut to Monica, at the microphone)
Rachel: Look! (Shows Ross the picture.)
Josh: So I'll see you at the party? Beer's beer man, 24, 7!!
Chandler: In the James Taylor case.
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.
-Cuts to Monica (She's just arrived outside his room she fixes a bent photo hanging on the wall then sprays mint in her mouth and enter)
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Director: (on phone)...Dammit, hire the girl! (He hangs up the phone.) Okay, everybody ready?
[Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
PHOEBE: Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?
Chandler: Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!!
[Cut to the gang.]
[Cut to the interview.]
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
[Cut to the interview.]
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
(The crowd ahhs.)
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
[Cut to the gang.]
[Cut to the interview.]
[Cut to the interview.]
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
The Interviewer: A mento
Rachel: No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him.
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
[Cut to the interview.]
(Chandler turns on the TV and )