words in movies
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Joey: Hey-hey, check out the hat!
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Monica: Seriously, where did you get the hat?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Phoebe: (at the door) Knock, knock, knock.
Phoebe: No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. (hands her the picture) Lily, from high school. Remember?
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
The Guys: Yeah!
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Ross: Okay, (reading the card) Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool points. Yeah.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
The Girls: Woo-hooooo!!!!
[cut to later in the game]
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Rachel: (getting up) All right, Im gonna make more margaritas! (She pours the rest of the pitcher into Rosss glass.)
Monica: Chasing him all around the room?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Bonnie: Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Ross: (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.
[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]
Bonnie: Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off.
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Joey: Whats the matter, Pheebs?
(She exits just as Bonnie comes down the stairs, as bald as Michael Jordan.)
Ross: Okay. (He gently touches it.) You can feel all the bones in your skull.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Ross: You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head! What the hell were you thinking?!!
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Bonnie: You guys, the waters great. You should really go in.
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: (entering the bedroom) Hi. (closes the door)
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
Joey: So the ah, plays pretty great, huh?
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Phoebe: A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company.
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
(from 1.01 - "The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate - The Pilot")
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
JOEY: Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.
DELIVERY GUY: Uhh, I don't know, I just bring the scripts.
Ross: So, for the whole weekend?
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Ross: Yeah, I-I really do. (takes a dinosaur mug out of the box) Hey! This-this was a gift?!
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Phoebe: How about just the bridemaids?
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
[Reset, theyre about to start the scene when Katie suddenly jumps up startling Jennifer.]
Phoebe: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. (The lady opens up her hand.) Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. (She throws the lint away.) What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! (The lady walks away.)
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Rachel thinks quickly.)
Phoebe: (running through the door) No! Oh! Youre alive! Youre alive!
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
(She kisses him on the cheek)
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
Chandler: Oh, whats the matter?
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
Ross: (in a strange voice and eating candies) The big apple!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: (talking out of the side of his mouth) I'm not mad.
Ross: Oh great! That means Im stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!"
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Ross: Look Rach I-Im sorry, okay? I I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
JANITOR: Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes.
MONICA: Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. [shuts the bathroom door]
Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
Richard: All right. This is the kitchen.
(Monica takes the bear, grabs his hat, and rips off his head.)
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Monica: Well I-I really dont remember the name of it.
Chandler: (thinks) That's the perfect amount!
Rachel: Huh, thats funny. You look like youre gonna be the
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel enter the room]
Monica: No! No. Theyre umm Theyre just uh ground beef smileys. (Holding up one of the shells.)
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Rachel: Do you want to put the book in the freezer?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Joey enters strutting.]
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Monica: (from the bedroom) Dont come in here!
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
(Phoebe's smile hardens as she packs the cardigan away.)
Joey: Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'
(The door opens.)
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Chandler: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7.
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Phoebe: What does the sign say?
(Joey sits sideways on his chair, looking at Sarah's chocolate torte, and then looking away from it, nervously playing with his fork, drumming with it on the table every now and then.)
Monica: Why? (She hops into the living room and imitates Chandler's happy dance.)
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Phoebe: No, the No Smoking sign. Theres no smoking in my Grandmothers cab.
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Monica: (laughs) This is Chandlers chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
(Rachel tackles Monica onto the couch.)
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
(The gang all looks at Phoebe.)
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Joey: I had the same dream!
Phoebe: (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!