words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Phoebe: (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Chandler: Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote.
(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler reaches down to pick him up.)
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Chandler: Well the duck can swim.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]
Phoebe: (singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
Monica: Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that "Woo-hoo" thing.
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
Monica: So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)
Josh: Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head.
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
Amanda: (opening the door) Hi!
Amanda: Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head outside.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and the duck.]
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
Monica: (lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.
Josh: So I'll see you at the party? Beer's beer man, 24, 7!!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water.
Phoebe: It's okay. How's the soup?
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Ross: (entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?
Phoebe: (singing) Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. (to Gunther) Does it even work without my sexy voice?
(Phoebe grabs Gunther and kisses him. He then falls to the couch in shock.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Joey: (opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Gunther: Well, we kissed. I-I-I didn't initiate the kiss, but-but I also didn't stop it, and I've been feeling guilty.
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says )
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean yknow, emotionally, mentally, physically
(The intercom buzzes.)
Hold Voice: Please stay on the line. Youre call is very important to us.
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
[Scene: A Theatre, Joey is arriving to rehearse the play hes in.]
Rachel: Youre so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Charity guy: Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together.
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
(The guy turns round, startled. Monica points to Phoebe. The guy gets hit by a truck)
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
(Monica opens the door.)
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Frank: Oh, well just probably the worst one since Ive been alive.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Krista: (calling from the bathroom) Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
Manny: Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
Phoebe: What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Chandler: Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
[cut to the gang, theyre all stunned]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Chandler: So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
The Man: (from earlier) Candy Lady?
Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
Leader: All right girls, and man. Lets see your final tallies. (all the girls raise their hands) Ohhhh, Debbie, (looks at her form) 321 boxes of cookies, (to Debbie) Very nice.
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Joey: No, the quiet down thing!
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
All: All right. Okay. I'm starving! (They all get up, thus officially ending the game.)
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, were not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
Joey: (looks at the time) Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner.
Rachel: I Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
Monica: Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.
PHOEBE: You know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.
JOEY: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Phoebe: Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
(A wave crashes on the beach and partially fills up his hole.)
Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts!
[Scene: Out in the hall, the firemen are talking.]
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.
Rachel: Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!! (Laughs and finishes her drink.)
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Monica: What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund dont you?
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.