words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there including Janice.]
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
Monica: Chris says theyre closing down the bar.
Monica: Is it the Italian guy?
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Im serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
(Chandler throws the cue ball under there table.)
Monica: Oh my God, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Monica: What are you doing with the lamp?
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Phoebe: You dont play the oboe!
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
(in the hallway, Eric is moving in)
Eric: But, he told me over the phone.
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]
Joey: Hey! (goes into the apartment)
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Monica: Its the heat. (has her hand on his chest, and then pulls it away) And-and the humidity.
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Monica: Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wouldve except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Whos she?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Ross: Thanks. (kisses her on the lips)
(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
Ross: Stupid balls are in the way. (holds up two balls)
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
Ross: Oh well. It probably wouldve been the most constructive solution.
Ross: Huh? (the rest of the gang enters)
[Scene: the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.]
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Friend No. 2: You missed the exit!
Rachel: So, does this (The dress) come in another color or (The store owner walks away.)
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her!
Joey: No! No, fear of the number 13.
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
Phoebe: Oo, where are the seats?
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Ross: Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this.
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Chandler: This is the best game ever!!!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.]
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
The Girls: Hey!
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
Cheryl: So, thank you for the delicious dinner.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
Phoebe: Well, the interview
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
The Food Critic: Still?
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay, go ahead.
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
The Cooking Teacher: And the cream?
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
The Cooking Teacher: The chef!
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Monica: No! You dont know the system! Therell be nobody messing with the system!
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
The Cooking Teacher: Very much.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
The Interviewer: You mustve had your hands full.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
The Interviewer: Poo?
The Interviewer: Poo?!
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
The Interviewer: Like the candy?
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
Ross: The bathroom?
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Joey: What the hell!
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)