words in movies
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Monica: Did the girl ever let you ride it?
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Chandler: But we dont know the neighbors.
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy!
Monica: Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Phoebe: Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present Ive ever gotten.
Ross: (stunned at the complement) Youre welcome.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
The Knocker: My name is Gary, I live upstairs.
(Monica opens the door.)
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Monica: Oh yeah! I saw her walkin it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back!
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
The Woman: (after Monica gives her the candy) Thank you.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Monica: No! You dont know the system! Therell be nobody messing with the system!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: (entering) Look, I-Im really sorry I let go of the bike.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Phoebe: What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Ross: Great! Great! (He runs to the door.) Youre making the bike very happy.
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Rachel: Okay. Uh, well can we, can we get you anything Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates? (Holds up the box.)
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Rachel: Youre lookin at it upside downyknow what? (Grabs the evaluation and throws it out.) It doesnt matter.
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
Tag: Oh, Im sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is returning from work to see the hallway jammed full of people waiting outside their door.]
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
The Man: Were waiting for the candy. (Yelling at the door.) Bring out the candy!
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
The Man: (from earlier) Candy Lady?
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
JOEY: Ah, the stalker.
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Ross: I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. (he sits down at the table.)
(The old lady at Phoebe's machine wins. Phoebe turns around in shock.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Monica is holding the wrapping paper from one of Rachel's gifts.]
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
Joey: You got all that from the back of her head?
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Ross: Wait a minute! How-how the hell did you beat us here?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.
(She walks out and slams the door.)
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, just updating the phonebook.
[Chandler closes up the laptop computer screen.]
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
[Cut to the rest of the gang sitting low on the couch and craning their necks to watch the interview.]
[Monica turns on the radio.]
Director: Lose the robe.
[Scene: City street. The whole gang is walking up to the movie set.]
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Phoebe: Yeah. But I also believed her (points to the phone) when she said I was next.
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Eric: Oh my God, youre the sister!
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
(She picks up the box and the bottom falls out, spilling all of the pictures onto Monica's neat little piles.)
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get "its," "and" oh I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it.
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
ALL: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
MNCA: Especially the after taste, you know, I'll tell ya, that'll last ya till Christmas.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
Chandler: (To Chandler) Im out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?
Mindy: Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Ross: Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me.
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
Monica: Anybody lose this? (Holds up the chip and the woman next to her shakes her head no.)
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Phoebe: Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. (she gives the check and pulls it back again) No... Oh God... Oh!
The Producer: (checking his watch) Lets get you into wardrobe for a fitting.