words in movies
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Monica: Did the girl ever let you ride it?
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Chandler: But we dont know the neighbors.
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy!
Monica: Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Phoebe: Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present Ive ever gotten.
Ross: (stunned at the complement) Youre welcome.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
The Knocker: My name is Gary, I live upstairs.
(Monica opens the door.)
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Monica: Oh yeah! I saw her walkin it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back!
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
The Woman: (after Monica gives her the candy) Thank you.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Monica: No! You dont know the system! Therell be nobody messing with the system!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: (entering) Look, I-Im really sorry I let go of the bike.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Phoebe: What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Ross: Great! Great! (He runs to the door.) Youre making the bike very happy.
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Rachel: Okay. Uh, well can we, can we get you anything Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates? (Holds up the box.)
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Rachel: Youre lookin at it upside downyknow what? (Grabs the evaluation and throws it out.) It doesnt matter.
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
Tag: Oh, Im sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is returning from work to see the hallway jammed full of people waiting outside their door.]
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
The Man: Were waiting for the candy. (Yelling at the door.) Bring out the candy!
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
The Man: (from earlier) Candy Lady?
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Chandler: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
(The dog returns with a ball that looks exactly like the same one Joey has.)
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are trying to find their seats.]
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
MONICA: So you watched the movies huh?
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Phoebe: Oh no. [The patented version.]
(Chandler stares at the doctor, completely shocked. Monica just freezes and turns around slowly.)
MONICA: Just some stuff for the party.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
Ross: Okay, forward. ForwardStop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, backStop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forwardStop! Stop! Stop!
ROSS: Number six: the way you smell.
FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
Monica: Yeah, just like the one in the poem.
Phoebe: The little jail between the doors!
Ross: (laughing) Ohh. (Phoebe takes a couple of steps to the door and Ross quickly hurries out.)
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Chandler: Well Ive been playing it for like eight hours, itll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, theyre dirty words.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
(Phoebe desperately tries to find the scripted response to that line.)
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Only Chandler is there with the videotape in his hands, standing in front of the TV set.]
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Rachel: (looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad...
JOEY: Alright, alright. [climbs up in the next stall and looks over at Chandler] Woah, someone's flossing.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
CHANDLER: Gee, Monica, what's in the bag?
Chandler: But the Kit-Kats are all right?!
MONICA: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We�ll probably be the first ones there.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)
(Ross starts jumping and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins in on the group hug.)
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
Chandler: Thats funny, this conversations how I got the bullet hole in my head.
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Monica: It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.
JULIE: Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time.
Phoebe: (smiles) Okay! (Goes to answer the phone.)
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
Chandler: Thats a mailman! Thats our mailman! (Waves to the mailman) (Sarcastic) Hi. How are ya?
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
(Rachel picks up the next gift.)
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
Phoebe: Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
(He does the ancient trick of going downstairs while behind the couch. As soon as he's out of sight, Emma starts crying.)
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Ross: Ok, got the vent open.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Joey: No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left.
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
Joey: He should take the sack?
JOEY: [sits down] Ohh yeah, that's the stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
(Rachel and Sophie both back out and close the door without saying anything.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
MONICA: The head tilt?
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
CHANDLER: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
JANITOR: The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)