words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
(They do so and they take off their clothes.)
[Everyone takes a bite of their trifle.]
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
Phoebe: I call their apartment!!!
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Rachel: Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Joey: Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
Monica: Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you!
Ross: Good, you don’t want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you?
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Joey: Wow (He opens his apartment door and throws their stuff in.)
(Follows Joey into their apartment and shrugs on his way out.)
Joey: Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding!
(They putting their notepads down and get up to leave.)
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
(Monica and Chandler put Jack and Erica in their stroller.)
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
[Scene: The Park, the gang is warming up for their football game.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
(They enter their apartment.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Leader: All right girls, and man. Lets see your final tallies. (all the girls raise their hands) Ohhhh, Debbie, (looks at her form) 321 boxes of cookies, (to Debbie) Very nice.
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
(They continue their trek.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are having their party. All the guests are stripped down because of the heat.]
(Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.)
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel at their table.]
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
[They rush to put the cream and sugar in their cups and gulp down a few drinks]
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
CHANDLER: [reluctantly sings] You're obviously not their favorite pet.
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
Monica: People have got to finish their stories!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont really their permission.
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Joey: That hot girl from their wedding?
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
(Liam and Devon both take a swig of their beers, while Ross takes a swig of his coffee. The Brits both crush their cans, and not to be out done, Ross crushes his coffee cup, spilling its contents.)
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
FBOB: OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? [everyone raises their hands] I'm still gonna go.
(Rachel slowly spins around, finally noticing that the lights have outstayed their welcome.)
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
(They want to kiss, but just before their lips touch, Rachel pulls back quickly, gasping)
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
Rachel opens their door: Hi.
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]
MONICA: It's for their own good.