words in movies
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Phoebe: Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.
Chandler: And you're gonna make them all disappear.
Monica: See now-now youre taking them away from their home.
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Chandler: Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum.
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
Rachel: Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
Chandler: ADRIENNE TURNER!! (A girl behind them turns around)
Monica: I made them!
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Monica: I loved them!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Monica: Gimme them!
Monica: You stole them from me!
Phoebe: I cant believe he taped the two of them having sex!
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Monica: She lets you borrow them.
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Phoebe: Let's run towards them!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Rachel: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
(They watch them making up and sigh)
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Joey: Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Tag: I just did them.