words in movies
Chandler: Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind them.]
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
(They watch them making up and sigh)
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
Joey: Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Tag: I just did them.
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
(Joey offers them some potato chips.)
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
Chandler: Because we hate them.
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Rachel: Some of them.
Monica: But you told them you werent?
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
David: Yeah. Well I-I got like thirty of them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
(Joey agrees and heads to take them off.)