words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Rachel: You guys are really right there arent you?
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Joey: Uhh, do you mind sitting there. Im-Im saving this for my friend Ross.
Tour Guide: Oh, he wont sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, (Points to there table) and only the people in the blue blazers sit here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Well, it was the first time. Yknow, theres not always a lot of agreement the first time.
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?!
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Ross: All right, there you go!
Joey: Yeah, you hang in there Teddy!
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Frank: Yeah, so we just thought wed stop by and let you know theres still no pressure.
Alice: None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, were just gonna be right over there (points to the counter) having coffee.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
The Interviewer: But therell be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them.
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Ross: What you got over there? Tacos?
Monica: There. Here's their card.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Chandler: Hold on! There is something different.
Rachel: Theres nobody here!
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
Rachel: Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Ross: Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go.
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Chandler: See, honey, theres(puts his hand on her leg)
Joey: Theres one lucky to-go cup of coffee.
Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like thered be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Mr. Treeger: Ive looked everywhere. Theres no gas leak.
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Joey: Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Benjamin (to Ross): You weren't there!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway)
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Rachel: (yelling) Just sit over there!! (Points to the port side.)
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there alone as Paul enters.]
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
(There is a knock on the door.)
Joey: There it is, you're blushing!
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Ross: Well, let's just go in there and face them.
Joey: Okay, good, so there you go. Go with Vince.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.
Ross: (on phone) Okay, Andr� should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
MONICA: Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you.
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
Jen: Oh! My number is on there. (Hands him a business card.) Give me a call.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Rachel: What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there (points) and pretend youre a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!!
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Monica: Well, there you go.
PHOEBE: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)