words in movies
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Joey: No! No-no. Look, theres a bug stuck in tar right here. (Bends down to get a closer look.)
Joey: (standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
[Scene: Rachels outer office, shes returning with two coffee cups in hand to find Tag sitting there.]
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Tag: Well, its not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the smoke detectors wail.]
The Fireman: Theres a reset button under the plastic cover.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Pete: Theres one thing missing.
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Mrs. Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Joey: (seeing what theyre doing) What do you got there?
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Ross: I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there. (Points.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Yeah, come on! Whats going in on in there? (Pats his chest.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
Emily: She's there?!
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Chandler: There we go!
RACH: Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs all there discussing the incident.]
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.