words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
DR. BURKE: Drops. Here, they're free.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
[Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is serving a nearby table.]
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Monica: Chandler! Everyone--no one's eating my Tuscan finger food 'cause they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones!
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry...
Dr. Franzblau: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Ross: Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Rachel: Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, they're totally gonna back down!
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Joey: Come on, they're close.
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
Ross: No, they're not.
Monica: Thank you. They're yours.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Monica: They're nice guys.
[Time lapse, they're both entering.]
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Kristin: You mean they're lovers.
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
JOEY: They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right.
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...
Carol: But they're not here yet!
Joey: They're here already?
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Lydia: Yeah, they're not so bad.
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]