words in movies
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Monica: They're still in my coat.
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
Rachel: Because they're people.
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Rachel: No-no, they're not very nice people.
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
DUNCAN: No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . .
[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Monica: Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Phoebe: Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
MNCA: See? They're as different as night and... later that night.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Caitlin: No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]