words in movies
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Lauren: Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.
Joey: They gave me the shaft all right.
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
[They resume rehearsing.]
Rachel: Well, they always called.
[They stop briefly to look at Chandler, but then start fighting again.]
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Rachel: I know. But if some guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me tonight, I'm sooo gonna let them! (They spot Chandler)
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Joey: I don't think they are.
Kathy's Co-Star: Oh, yeah! Ooh, thats nice. (They start making out harder.)
(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Ross: Me too. Come here. (They hug)
Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Both: (long pause, they realize) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Ooh! (they hug)
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
(They both look at each other for a while)
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Ross: Yeah, yeah! (they hug) You sure this is what you want?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
(They all look down the hall he left from.)
Chandler: Mrs. Braverman must be out. (They move closer to it.)
Ross: Yeeeah! (They high-five)
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Ross: They did?
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, oh! (They hug)
Hillary: You know, youre a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
Monica: That is so sweet. (they hug)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Ross: God! I can't believe she saved me for last. (looking out to the balcony) Why are they taking so long?
(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)
(They kiss.)
(They walk over to the door.)
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
(They hug.)
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
(Suddenly, they hear the birds.)
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Monica: Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again.
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Monica: Look, I know that I shouldve told them. I know I shouldnt care what they think. Im sorry.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
(They kiss again.)
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Rachel: Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
Joey: Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! (They turn to stare at him.) What? Thought we were trying to find stuff.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]
Rachel: Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails).
Monica: Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have.
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
(They both start laughing really loudly.)
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Chandler: (with his arm all the way under the cushion, moving it around) This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape. (Chandler puts the tape in, and they all sit down) Okay, here we go.
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel)
Phoebe: Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
The Doctor: (seeing theyre not identical) But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
(they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room)
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
(He hops onto the bed and they start making out.)
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
Ross: (mustering up courage) Yes. Yes I do. (They go inside.)
Joey: Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams.
(They all politely laugh and stop just as quickly.)
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Phoebe: Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Chandler: It's a great idea. (They kiss)
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.