words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
Monica: (To Joey) They were lovers.
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Monica: Why would they think theyre invited?
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Joey: Yeah, theyre not coming.
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Joey: Yknow, if they knew what they were doing they probably didnt give you real names either.
(They start thinking.)
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Kim: No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there. (They walk away.)
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Monica: Me too. (they all leave)
(They both sprint to what used to be their apartment.)
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Chandler: (looks at what she's holding and shies away) Oh dear God, they gave us glasses!
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
Monica: Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
(They both bounce back into the bathroom.)
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
(Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now.)
(They both exit.)
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank you. (Exits)
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
(They storm out into the street.)
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) Were doing the right thing, right?
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.
Joey: Come on! Youre good with kids. Theyre just crazy on Halloween. Yknow, theyre all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
Chandler: (running over and joining Monica) Theyll never understand!
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
(They storm out into the street.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
(They pause to think about it.)
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
ROSS: Look at that, they won't even turn their heads.
Rachel: Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue.
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
(They hug.)
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
Monica: Well, were trying to find someone to perform our wedding and theyre all either boring or annoying or yknow, cant stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
(They start playing.)
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
(They hug.)
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
(They both run and hug theyre respective partners.)
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
(They break the embrace.)
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
(They all laugh.)
(They do so and they take off their clothes.)
Ross: Uh-huh, that's why they call it Staten Island.
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
Phoebe: Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.