words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
Monica: (To Joey) They were lovers.
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Monica: Why would they think theyre invited?
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Joey: Yeah, theyre not coming.
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
(They all gasp)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
(They all start laughing at him)
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Robert: (running in) Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.
(they all tear off the wrapping paper)
[They all start fighting with each other.]
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Pete: Lights. (The lights turn on, once again theyre too bright.) Uh, romantic lights. (The lights dim.)
BARRY: Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Monica: Well I dont have them either. Where are they?
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
(They both break into a huge laugh and do that stop motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Charlie: Shall we? (they sit down and Benjamin takes Ross' chair).
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Alice: None the less. Umm, youre too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Monica: Because theyll know weve been listening.
Phoebe: Oh my God, they took my idea!
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
(They clink beer bottles, and drink.� Then, they stare uncomfortably at their bottles.)
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Carol: Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny
(They kiss.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
Joey: All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Lets go!
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
(They start making out. She opens his shirt and feels inside and stops.)
Monica: Chris says theyre closing down the bar.
(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.)
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Ross: Evidently they do.
(They all run over to the window.)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
(They all applaud her.)
(They all run to the window.)
[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]
All: Whoa. (they all lean in to get a closer look, Ross isn't pleased)
Charlie: Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little)
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Phoebe: All right, you go. (They kiss.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
Joey: Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those.
(They both stare for a while, and then look at each other)
Rachel: Huh. Well, y'know thats actually a really good idea, because that way theyll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Kate: They still want me for General Hospital.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)