words in movies
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
(They start to leave.)
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
The Cooking Teacher: Were all beginners here. Nobody knows what theyre doing.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
(They enter.)
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
ROSS: They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
(They both confer.)
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
MONICA: Good, they feel good, in my head.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
(They go get a drink.)
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
(They all go over to her apartment.)
Ross: Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long.
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.
Joey: Oh great! Great! Thank you. (They shake hands.)
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Guy: Yeah. All right. (They guy gets his sample and leaves.)
Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.)
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
(they both start up the stairs.)
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
(They both growl and hiss at each other and then kiss passionately again.)
(They get inside and notice on small problem.)
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)
Phoebe: Hell, Im drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I cant have a mimosa with breakfast?! Im on vacation!
Rachel: (shocked) They had to have that specially made?!
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey is on his hot date and theyre not speaking right now.]
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
(They both move to kiss again.)
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.)
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Conan: You uh, youve worked withThey always say a performer should never work with pets or children.
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Phoebe: They were threefold.
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
Monica: So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. It's just Ross and Rachel. They put the camera on a tripod in the kitchen and they are standing in front of the camera.]
(They kiss.)
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
(They both hug.)
Phoebe: Theyre not even touching the lasagna!
(They kiss. Ross walks away, and then fades out.)
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
Monica: I love you too. (They kiss)
Monica: (to Chandler) Take me home! (they quickly leave)
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: Theyre green?
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Chandler: No they didnt!
(They kiss and hug.)
(They kiss.)
(They open the door.)
Ross: Yeah. (They hug again.)
(Long pause as they both look at each other.)
Chandler: They dont have those.